


Korra Doesn't Like Fanfiction

by ImNotGoodAtThis



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Humor, Multi, Parody, Sexual Humor, fanfiction parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-22
Updated: 2014-11-22
Packaged: 2018-02-26 14:14:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2655008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImNotGoodAtThis/pseuds/ImNotGoodAtThis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After receiving an important lesson from Master Katara about the horrors of fanfiction, Korra decides that she won't let the same thing happen to her. Current chapter: Korra meets someone new and falls for him completely. Will Mako reveal his true feelings to Korra? How will Korra react? Will Mako and Korra finally be together? Read to find out! And don't read the character pairings! That's cheating.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Katara's Final Lesson

**Author's Note:**

> After receiving an important lesson from Master Katara about the horrors of fanfiction, Korra decides that she won't let the same thing happen to her. This story will be exploring the various cliches we come across in different types of fanfiction. Just a warning, there will be plenty of 4th wall breaking.

"Nice night for an escape, isn't it?"

Korra tensed before she turned around to face her waterbending master. She couldn't help but feel guilty for trying to run away without telllng anyone. "I have to leave. I have to find my own path as the Avatar."

"I know you do." Katara smiled at the young woman standing before her. They really did grow up in a heartbeat. Katara could remember the day Korra came to the White Lotus compound to master the elements. She watched Korra quickly master the elements over the years and they were so close that Katara thought of the young woman as her second daughter. It was because of the fact that Katara knew Korra so well, that she knew Korra wouldn't take kindly to the last lesson she had to teach her. "It is time for you, and your generation to take on the responsibility of keeping peace and balance in the world, and I think you are going to be a great Avatar."

"Thank you." Korra stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her waterbending teacher.

"But Korra, before you leave," Katara let Korra go and held her at arms length. "There is one final lesson that I must teach you."

"Is it a new waterbending technique?"

"No," Katara shook her head. "This is much more important than that. It's a matter of keeping your sanity. Now help me take a seat." Korra nodded and helped Katara settle down on the ground before she took a seat next to her. When they were finally comfortable, Katara continued. "You have lived on this compound most of your life and have grown into a beautiful young avatar. Because of this fact, things are going to be about ten times harder for you."

"What do you mean, 'things will be harder'?"

"Well..." Katara took a deep breath. "When you finally make it to Republic City and make your debut as the new Avatar, you will gain a lot of fans."

"I know, it's gonna be awesome." Korra fist pumped.

"Well it can be," Katara smiled at her enthusiasm. "But you will come into constant contact with two kinds of fans."

"So what's the difference?"

"Well the first type of fan will pretty much be normal in every single way. They will read about your exploits in the newspapers, and hang on every word you say when you speak at press conferences. If they are lucky enough to meet you in person, they will gush about how amazing you are, ask for your autograph and maybe take a picture of you."

"Okay, but what about the other fans?"

"Simply put, the other fans will scare the shit out of you." Korra balked at the harsh language coming from her kind waterbending master. "These people are really something else. You should avoid them like the plague."

"Why...why should I avoid them?" Korra was getting a little scared at how serious Katara was acting right now.

"You should avoid them because these people love you so much that they feel the need to, well...the need to create things dedicated to you."

"Like what?"

"Fanfiction..." Katara whispered. Korra laughed at this.

"So what if they write stories about me? I would love to read stories about me kicking butt. It will be like those superhero comics."

"Trust me Korra, the stories fans will write about you will be 'nothing' like the super hero comics. They will write terrible things about you."

"What are they going to write about me?" Katara took a moment to savor Korra's innocence before she shattered it with her next words. Katara remembered way back when she was that innocent, decades ago...

"Sex, Korra. With everything."

"What?!" Korra stood up screaming. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN EVERYTHING?"

"Every single person you have ever had contact with."

"NO! THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!"

"It is totally possible Korra, please calm down."

"I CAN'T JUST CALM DOWN, KNOWING PEOPLE ARE IMAGINING ME RUNNING AROUND FUCKING EVERY PERSON IN SIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME NEXT, THAT PEOPLE ARE IMAGINING ME HAVING SEX WITH MASTER TENZIN?"

"Hell they probably have a few fanfics about that already."

"But that's disgusting! He's older than my father!" Korra spat out.

"Speaking of your father..."

"NO! FOR SPIRITS SAKE, DON'T FINISH THAT SENTENCE!" Korra pulled her hair in frustration. "How can these weirdos imagine me having sex with random old guys?"

"Don't forget about the girls Korra."

"Girls too?! What the fuck is wrong with these people? I am not a LESBIAN!" Korra was near the point of hyperventilation. Katara stood up and grabbed the younger woman by the shoulders in an attempt to calm her down.

"Korra... I know this is a lot to take in at once, and you are probably very angry at me right now, but I have to tell you these things. Trust me, you will thank me later for preparing you for the horrors." Katara gave the young girl moment to calm down. "They will write fanfictions where you are weak, they will write stories about you being overpowered and raped by your enemies. They will write stories about you being raped and tortured by your  _Friends._  They will write stories where you will have sex with men, women, and animals, they might write about you having sex with all of these at the same time."

"Wait... animals too?" Korra's face was starting to turn green. "L-like Naga?"

Katara nodded sadly, "I'm afraid so Dear." Katara released Korra's shoulders as she ran a few feet away and bent over to vomit into a haystack. She stood, hunched over with her hands on her knees, spitting over and over again to get the acidic taste out of her mouth.

"No...Fuck this. I'm not leaving anymore. I can't take it."

"Korra...I know this is a lot to take in but you are the Avatar, it is your duty to keep balance in the world. It's time for you to suck it up, I haven't even told you the worst kind of fanfiction there is."

"It gets  _worse?"_

"Korra it will always get worse. For one, there are stories that feature original characters. These characters are people that the writer made up themselves, and they are almost always  _Terrible._ These terrible authors will try to come up with reasons why that OC should even exist when everyone who is reading the story knows that it is nothing but a self insert character the writer modeled after themselves so they can pretend that the cutest boy is in love with them. This 'original' character is generic in every single way, but every single boy will fall in love with this special snowflake because she has special powers that have no right existing in this world and she has an odd hair or eye color."

"Wow, that's pretty bad."

"Yes it is, Korra. But it pales in comparison to the dreaded high school fic."

"I don't get it." Korra asked. "What's so bad about high school stories? That seems pretty tame compared to all the rape and bestiality."

"Because they are boring as hell." Katara answered. "Did your parents ever tell you the story about little red riding hood?"

"Yeah, I remember that one."

"Well think about that story, but pretend the big bad wolf was never in it."

"It would just be a story about a little girl walking to grandma's house."

"EXACTLY! It's boring because there is no conflict. You can't write an engaging story without giving the protagonist and enemy or a force to overcome. That is every high school fic ever. Sure that might fly if it's just a short story or a piece of poetry, BUT HIGH SCHOOL FICS SPAN 30 CHAPTERS! 30 FREAKING CHAPTERS! WHERE THE BIGGEST PROBLEM THE MAIN CHARACTER HAS IS TELLING THAT CUTE BOY IN ENGLISH CLASS THAT SHE LIKES HIM!"

"Um... Master Katara..."

"THE MAIN CHARACTER IS A COMPLETE DITZ WHO DRIVES AROUND IN HER CAR LISTENING TO FALLOUT BOY, JUSTIN BIEBER, EVANESCENCE AND EVERY SINGLE TERRIBLE BAND 14 YEAR OLD GIRLS LOVE WHILE TALKING TO HER BFF ON HER GOD DAMN CELLPHONE! THE MAIN CHARACTER WILL SPEND ENTIRE PARAGRAPHS WORRYING ABOUT _WHETHER SHE WILL MAKE IT TO CLASS ON TIME_!"

"...Master Katara..." Katara threw her arms into the air and continued ranting.

"THEN WHEN SHE FINALLY MAKES IT TO CLASS SHE SITS THERE DAYDREAMING ABOUT HOW PERFECT HIS HAIR LOOKS, OR HOW AMAZING HIS MUSCLES ARE. OR MAYBE SHE WILL THINK ABOUT HIS DEEP HUSKY VOICE AND HOW GOOD HE SMELLS, LIKE A TOTAL STALKER!" Katara started to foam at the mouth and her eyes were starting to blur out of focus.

"master katara, you're scaring m-"

"THAT SHIT IS MORE BORING THAN WATCHING GRASS GROW OR PAINT DRY! EXCEPT THE GROWING GRASS AND WET PAINT ARE CHARACTERS WHO SPEND FOREVER WORRYING ABOUT WHO THEY ARE GOING TO TAKE TO THE DANCE! YOU JUST WANT TO STAB BOTH OF THEM AND TELL THEM TO STOP WHINING AND JUST FUCK ALREADY!"

"MASTER KATARA! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!" Korra slapped her with just enough force to get her attention. "I get it. High school fics are really bad." Katara finally stopped her yelling and wiped away the angry spittle that was hanging off of her chin.

"I'm sorry dear, I was just reliving some terrible memories. Fans wrote thousands of fanfics about me, and they still do."

"Really? How bad was it?"

"Hundreds of Zutara fans were protesting outside of the church on my wedding day."

"Ouch..." Korra grimaced. "How did you deal with it?"

"I had Toph launch anyone who came within a hundred feet of the place."

"Weren't you worried about someone getting hurt?"

"To tell you the truth, I didn't give a damn. It was my wedding day and I wasn't going to let those weirdos ruin my day. Korra the best way to deal with crazy fans like that is to ignore them. If you react in anyway to them, they will take it as encouragement. Don't get too personal with a fan, they will start stalking you. And for the love of God, if a fan tries to give you a piece of art or a story they wrote  _Don't_ take it."

"Don't worry Master Katara, I have a plan. I won't let them write stories like that about me. Some motherfucker tries to rape me, I'll kick their ass. They try to get me to be all buddy-buddy with an OC, I'll beat them too."

Katara couldn't laugh at how naive the young woman was. She didn't have the heart to tell her the truth. "I'm sure you will dear." Katara hugged Korra one last time. "Goodbye Korra."

"Goodbye Master Katara." Korra climbed onto Naga and steered the polar bear dog toward the nearest wall of the compound, where she earthbent a tunnel underneath the wall so they can escape.

"Oh, Korra. So strong and independent...you will make a great avatar." Katara watched the girl disappear into the tunnel before it closed in on itself, leaving no evidence of it ever being there.

"Those fans are going to eat the poor girl alive."


	2. What Are These Lemons You Speak Of?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra meets a few of her fans, who give her some disturbing gifts.

"...Look, all I know is Avatar Aang meant for this city to be the center of peace and balance in the world. And I believe we can make his dream a reality. I look forward to serving you!" Everyone cheered for Korra as she lifted her hand to the crowd. "I'm so happy to be here! Thank you Republic City!" Korra let Tenzin take over and moved to stand next to Chief Bei Fong. "So... how did I do? Not bad for a my first press conference, right?"

Lin shrugged her shoulders. "I've seen better. Now listen here." She cast Korra a sideways glance. "You can play the savior of the city all you want, but if I ever see a repeat of yesterday, I will shove my foot so far up your ass that I will be using your teeth as toenail clippers. You got that?"

"Chief Bei Fong, you wound me. We're supposed to be on the same side now." Korra smiled and waved to the cameras, not letting her face betray the animosity between the two women. After Tenzin was done answering questions for the press, both women and Korra's polar bear dog followed Tenzin into city hall. Tenzin placed his hands into his sleeves and turned to face Korra.

"Korra, now that you are here to stay I need to set some ground rules. Training starts tomorrow morning and will end at three p.m. Afterwards you will have some free time to spend in the city, but I expect you to be home by dinner."

"Hell no. She stays on the island."

"Screw that. You can't tell me what to do."

"I'm Chief of Police, of course I can."

"Fuck that it's a free country."

"KORRA!" Tenzin pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a few seconds to compose himself. "Listen here, you are a public figure now, which means that 'everyone' will be watching your every move. We have Equalists rallying against benders, bending gangs threatening innocent civilians and the Triple Threat Triad kidnapping people. The last thing we need is to have the Avatar running in the streets leveling city blocks like a hippo bull in a china shop."

"C'mon Tenzin, I didn't do  _that_ much damage."

"You leveled two stores, tore up 60 yards of road and encased a bridge in ice." Lin deadpanned.

"Nobody asked you Lin."

"One of my officers is on medical leave because you kicked him in the face. He has to wear a neck brace for the next month."

"Don't listen to her Tenzin. She's just being a bi-"

"Anyways!" Tenzin interrupted them. "I can't have you disrupting relations between benders and non-benders so you WILL be on your best behavior." Tenzin pulled a few Yuans out of his pocket. "Now take this and go, and I swear if I get another call telling me you are in prison, I will let you rot there." Korra's hand snaked out and snatched the Yuans before he had a chance to second guess his decision to give her money.

"Don't worry Tenzin, I promise I'll be good." Korra ran towards the back exit of the building, Naga in tow. "Bye guys!" Lin and Tenzin watched her go.

"Twenty Yuans says that girl will be in jail by the end of the week."

"Lin, I'm not going to make a bet I know I'll lose."

"Pansy."

* * *

"What can I get you miss?" The barista asked Korra as she looked over the menu.

"Um...what's this coffee thing you have up there?"

"New beverage from Ba Sing Se. It's really popular with the working crowd."

"Yeah sure, give me that." Korra paid the barista and waited as the woman poured her drink into a ceramic cup and handed it to her. Korra was actually taking Tenzin's advice to heart and staying out of trouble. Since she didn't know her way around the city yet she decided to step into a bookstore and waste time catching up on her favorite comics. Korra took a seat in a booth next to the front window of the store so she can keep an eye on Naga as she read. Korra took a sip of her coffee and grimaced at the taste.

"Um, excuse me!" Korra got the barista's attention. "Is coffee supposed to taste this...bitter?"

"You gotta put cream and sugar in it dear." The woman pointed out before she resumed helping another customer. Korra poured some cream into her coffee and stirred in about six sugar cubes before she gave it another taste, swishing it around in her mouth a little. She added four more sugar cubes before she gave it another taste.  _"Perfect."_

Korra opened the latest issue of 'The Blue Spirit' and was about to start reading it, but she paused. She couldn't help but get the feeling that someone was  _watching her._

She turned to her right and immediately found the source of the problem. Three girls, probably no older than sixteen were staring at her, their faces plastered to the window. When Korra made eye contact with them they started screaming with excitement.  _"I guess they recognized me."_  Korra watched them run to the entrance of the bookstore.  _"Sweet, my very first group of fangirls."_

"AAAAAIIIEEEEEE!"

"OH MY GAWD!"

"THE FUCKING AVATAR GUYS! IT'S THE FUCKING AVATAR!"

Korra expected fans to act excited when they meet her, but she didn't expect anything on this scale.  _"Holy shit! Their screams are like getting ear raped without any lube."_ Korra didn't even know that the human voice could reach that frequency. "Um... hi girls."

"WE WERE AT YOUR PRESS CONFERENCE!"

"YEAH IT WAS SO AWESOME!"

"CAN YOU SIGN OUR STUFF?" Before Korra could even answer, all three girls took a seat in her booth and started rummaging through their backpacks.  _"Great...now I'm trapped here."_  Korra tried to smile at the girls to hide her frustration. One of the girls shoved a rolled up piece of paper across the table to her.

"Can you sign the picture I drew of you?"

_"Fucking shit! What did Master Katara say about accepting things from fans?"_ Korra racked her brain for an answer.  _"Oh yeah, that's right. 'for the love of God, if a fan tries to give you a piece of art or a story they wrote _DON'T_  take it.' So what am I supposed to do now?" _Before Korra could refuse the girl's request, she reached across the table and started to unroll the picture herself.

"OH GOD, THAT'S... that's not half bad actually..." It was a picture of Korra standing on the beach, surrounded by snakes of water, with a full moon framing the background. Korra signed the picture and handed it back to the girl. She took the other two girls pictures, which showed her firebending and earthbending, and signed them as well. "All three of you are pretty good at drawing."

"Thanks. We made these pictures for our fanzine."

"Fanzine? What's that?"

"It's a magazine that fans make. We put our artwork and our stories in it and share it with other fans."

"We have three issues already." Another girl added. "Do you want a copy?" Before Korra could turn them down, she had three different magazines shoved in her face.

"Please take them. There are a few lemons in there, but it's nothing major."

_"Lemons? What the fuck are lemons?"_  Korra grabbed the magazines, well aware of the fact that she was breaking Katara's fanfiction rule.  _"Their artwork was pretty tame, maybe it won't be so bad..."_

"Um... thanks you guys." All three girls squealed when she accepted their gifts.

"HEY CAN WE HANG OUT WITH YOU TODAY?"

"YEAH YOU CAN SHOW US YOUR AWESOME BENDING!"

"Well... I would love to, but look at the time!" Korra quickly glanced at her wrist, hoping to God the girls didn't notice that she wasn't even wearing a watch. "It's getting late and I really need to get back to the Air Temple." Korra practically shoved the girl out of the seat next to her to escape their squealing. "Bye Girls!" Korra ran out of the bookstore and hopped on Naga to ride back home. On the ride home, Korra glanced at one of the magazine covers.  _"Legend of Korra, eh? It shouldn't be that bad..."_

It wasn't until three hours later that Korra discovered exactly how  _Wrong_  she was.

* * *

That night, within the confines of her room, Korra learned a very important lesson. An Important lesson that Master Katara didn't even bother to teach her. What was that lesson?

Teenage girls are  _fucking perverts._

Sure, teenage boys are perverted as well. But teenage boys were completely satisfied with staring at pornographic pictures and telling their buddies how fine 'dat ass' is on any attractive female that happened to walk by. Teenage girls were something else though. They don't talk about sex out loud with their peers but boy, do they have  _imaginations._

_"Oh God Lin, DON'T STOP! FASTER! HARDER!" Korra screamed as Lin continued to pleasure her. She increased her pace as her metal bending cable started to slide even deeper into Korra's wet-_

No...

No.

NO.

**NO!**

Korra threw the magazine across the room, where it bounced helplessly off of the wall.  _"What the fuck is wrong with these people?! I would NEVER do that with Lin. She doesn't even like_  me!" Korra was pondering whether or not she should burn the magazines and live the rest of her life pretending that her innocence wasn't just shattered by an imaginary Lin and metal bending cables, but something stopped her. Korra couldn't quite describe the feeling, it was like watching a car crash or seeing someone on the roof of a building threatening to kill himself. You know you should look away in horror, but you can't help but stare at it. You don't want to look away because you know if you keep staring, you might see some fucked up shit happen.

Korra picked up the second magazine and skimmed through the table of contents, until she found a title that didn't sound like a cheesy porno name.  _"Airbending Lessons...sounds innocent enough."_  And surprisingly it was innocent enough.

For half of a page.

_"Oh God! Tenzin please stop! IT HURTS!" Korra's face was covered in tears as Tenzin forced himself on her. Tenzin slammed her head into the ground, dazing her, as he continued to plow into her._

_"Stop struggling and enjoy it! Then I won't have to hurt you!" Korra stopped struggling. Even though Tenzin was raping her, Korra had to admit that it 'did' feel good._

_"well...okay." Korra started to kiss Tenzin as he increased his pace. Korra could hear an audible slapping noise as Tenzin continued to thrust his member into Korra's slick-_

Welp.

You know What?

I think we are done with 'Airbending Lessons.'

_"What the fuck is wrong with these people? Did they really think that I would enjoy being raped by Tenzin? What kind of messed up sicko would enjoy being raped by anyone?"_ It wasn't long before the second magazine flew across the room to join the first one. Korra finally grabbed the last magazine and just flipped to a random page.  _"What's this one called?"_  Korra flipped back a page to the beginning of the story.  _"Fishing: A Korra and Gommu Love Story."_

Who the fuck is Gommu? Korra couldn't recall ever meeting anyone by that name in her life.  _"I guess I have to read to find out..."_

_"Mmmm...so tasty." Korra sucked on the fish head seductively, slowing grinding her center into the lap of the older man. She shivered in excitement as he rubbed his erection against her core. "Now that we are done with dinner...you ready for 'dessert'?" Korra wiggled her eyebrows at him._

_"Like hell I am!_ " _Gommu growled as he swiftly picked Korra up by her ass cheeks and carried her to his sparkling bush-_

Korra felt a sensation like she never felt before. It kinda felt like a spark went off inside her head, right behind her left eyeball. Korra wasn't sure exactly what it was, but she is pretty sure that a part of her brain just broke. "ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?! THE HOBO?! THE FUCKING HOBO! HOW DID THEY EVEN KNOW ABOUT THE SPARKLING BUSH HOBO?!"

"Korra...is everything alright in there?" Pema asked, standing just outside of korra's doorway.

"Y-yeah, everything's fine Pema!" Korra quickly hid her magazine as Pema poked her head through the cracked door.

"You sure Korra?"

"YEP! GOODNIGHT PEMA!"

Pema gave Korra a queer look before she decided to drop the subject. "Alright then. Goodnight Korra." Pema closed the door behind her.

_"Whew, that was a close one."_ Korra wasn't exactly sure how she would be able to explain the fact that she was reading porn about herself.  _"Hell there could be porn about Pema in here for all I know."_  Korra turned back to the table of contents to see if her suspicions were correct.  _"Yep, right there. 'Pregnant Fingerbang'. They didn't even try to be subtle with the title there."_

Korra closed the magazine and walked across the room to pick up the other two. She arranged them into a neat pile and hid the magazines underneath her mattress. She knew it was a cliche place to hide porn, but she really couldn't think of a better spot. Korra laid down on her mattress and stared at the ceiling.  _"Do my fans really think that I would act like that? Do they really think I would Lez out with Lin, let Tenzin rape me, or suck on fish heads with sparkly bush hobos?"_ Korra's mouth started to water. She wasn't sure if it was because she found the idea of her doing those things appetizing, or if her mouth was watering because she was about to throw up. She really hoped it was the latter. The fact that she couldn't decide on a reason worried her even more. Maybe that fish head fanfic broke her brain more than she previously thought.

Suddenly Korra got a brilliant (to her) idea. She sat up and grabbed the magazines from underneath her mattress and started to read the first one.  _"They really think I'm going to be a victim? I'll show them."_ Korra started to read each story with a new resolve, not allowing the porn to faze her. She didn't bat an eyelash as she studied all of the rape fics, she didn't grimace as she absorbed the images of her being penetrated by various objects, she didn't even flinch as she came across the bestiality fic starring her and Naga.  _"I'll study all of these stories. Really study them. And if I ever get into a situation like slutty fanfic Korra, I will show them how much of a 'victim' the God Damn Avatar can be. I'LL SHOW THEM ALL!"_

Yeah...Sparkly Bush Hobo definitely broke something in her brain.


	3. No One Likes A Mary Sue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra encounters her first Mary Sue.

"Wow! This place is amazing!" Marilyn Suzuki couldn't believe how enormous the city was. She took a moment to admire the city lights from the deck of the ship as it pulled into port. When the ship finally docked she walked down the plank. It was already dark and she knew that she would have to get a hotel room soon, but she wanted to find something to eat first.  _"I wonder if there are any good restaurants nearby.."_

Marilyn couldn't help but notice the numerous stares she was getting from older men as she made her way through the crowd of passengers. She really wasn't surprised at the looks she was getting, she was used to the unwanted attention, there weren't many people who looked like her. She was about 5'5", with a slender but athletic frame. She had silver hair, purple eyes and many people told her that her face was a cross between Angelina Jolie and Natalie Portman. In other words, she was drop dead gorgeous...but not stuck up about it, because no one liked conceited hot chicks. She could easily rock any outfit she wanted, but she liked to dress conservatively so men would find her more approachable and she never wore makeup because she was a tomboy and liked to be considered "one of the guys."

After walking for a few minutes, Marilyn Suzuki finally found a suitable restaurant.  _"Narook's? I guess it will do."_

* * *

"TO KORRA!"

"CHEERS!"

Mako, Bolin, and Korra clinked their soda glasses in celebration of their first victory with their newest team member. "KORRA YOU WERE AMAZING! I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE MOVE LIKE THAT!" Bolin shouted, admiration is his eyes.

"Yeah I have to admit that was pretty impressive." Mako added. Korra couldn't help but blush a little at the firebenders compliment.

"Thanks guys, you can thank Tenzin for that." Korra took a gulp of her soda and set it down on the table. "I just want to thank you both for treating me to...guys?" Mako and Bolin were staring over her shoulder, toward the entrance of the restaurant. Korra waved a hand in front of both of their faces, but nothing seemed to faze them.

"Bolin... are you seeing what I'm seeing?"

"Hot damn..." Bolin was practically drooling. Korra looked behind her to see what the big deal was. A woman was standing near the entrance, looking over the menu.  _"Well she looks kinda weird..."_

"She's so hot. She kinda looks like Natalie Portman, huh Mako?"

"Nah, I say she looks more like Angelina Jolie."

_"Natalie Portman? Angelina Jolie? Who the fuck are they?"_  Korra was getting a little weird-ed out by their behavior. It's like the Silver-haired woman cast a spell on them or something. When the mysterious woman was done ordering her noodles she turned to sit down at a table in the corner to wait for her noodles. It wasn't until she was about to sit down, that she noticed Mako and Bolin staring at her. Instead of sitting down at her own table, she walked over to where Korra and her teammates were eating.

"Um, excuse me... but you guys are members of the Fire Ferrets right?" Mako and Bolin were too busy staring so Korra answered for the three of them.

"Yeah, we're the Fire Ferrets."

"Oh my God! I love you guys! I would listen to all of your matches on the radio back home! It's so nice to meet you."

"Well it's always nice to meet a fan." Bolin managed to snap out of the daze he was in and quickly switched into 'ladie's man' mode. "You must be new here, would you like to sit with us?"

"Yeah sit, it'll be fun." Mako added. Since Mako and Bolin were sitting next to each other, the girl had no choice but to sit next to Korra. "So," Mako asked. "What's your name?"

"My name's Marilyn Suzuki, but all my friends back home call me Mary."

_"The fuck kinda name is Mary?"_  Korra wasn't quite sure why, but she already knew that she didn't like this woman.

"Mary... that is a beautiful name." Bolin turned on the charm. "So what brings you to Republic City?"

"Well..." Mary started. "I was born into a small village where I'm the only bender. Since I had no one to teach me back home, I traveled to Republic city to train under a master."

"That's cool." Mako stated. He was trying to act aloof and uninterested in the conversation, but Korra could tell he was putting up a front. "What element do you bend?"

"I'm an Airbender." Korra nearly choked on her noodles. "I came here to train with Master Tenzin."

"WOW! Korra can't even airbend yet and she's the freaking Avatar!" Bolin shouted. Korra gave him a pointed look but he ignored her. She didn't like her friend pointing out her inadequacies to complete strangers.

"If you don't mind me asking," Korra turned to face the girl next to her. "how is that even possible?"  _"You sure as hell don't look like Tenzin's child, that's for sure."_

"It's an interesting story actually. Over 70 years ago, when Avatar Aang was still alive, he was struck by Princess Azula's Lightning and died. When Master Katara revived him, his spirit split into two, one spirit being able to control fire, earth, and water; the second being able to only control air. I was born with the second half of Avatar Aang's spirit."

"WOAH! THAT PERFECTLY EXPLAINS WHY KORRA ISN'T ABLE TO AIRBEND! YOU ARE LIKE HALF OF THE AVATAR!"

"It would be more like one quarter of the Avatar, Bolin. You suck at math."

"One half, one quarter... same difference." Korra drowned out the excited chatter of the people sitting around her. Quarter Avatars? Aang's spirit being split into two when Master Katara revived him?

That has got to be the stupidest fucking thing Korra has heard in the entire world.

_"Wait..."_  Korra can't help but feel like she has seen something like this before...

Weird hair and eye color? Check.

Unbelievably attractive, without being stuck up about it? Yep.

Crazy theory about why she has a strange power that only a handful of people possess? Definitely there.

Korra looked around the table at her companions. Mary was chatting about some subject Korra wasn't paying attention to while Bolin and Mako both stared at her lovingly. Main characters falling in love with this girl immediately? Big fucking check.  _"Oh my God... why the fuck didn't I notice this earlier?"_

_Marilyn Suzuki_

_'Mary' Suzuki_

_Mary Su..._

This girl was a fucking Mary Sue character. Korra slapped her hand against her forehead. She had just read about this in the magazines last night, she should've seen the signs earlier. Korra knew what she was about to do next would upset Bolin and Mako, since they were so smitten with their new friend, but it had to be done.

Plus there was no way in  _hell_  Korra was going to let this Mary Sue motherfucker take ' _her_   _boys'_  away from her.

"Hey guys." Everyone stopped talking to hear Korra out. "I'm going to go next door real quick, be back in five." The boys watched her leave the restaurant, completely bewildered.

"Mako, why would Korra go to the sporting goods store?"

"No idea, Bo."

* * *

"...Yeah my dad also taught me ninjutsu when I was little, so I can fight pretty well, even without my bending!"

"Wow that's so interesting. You are amazing. Hey Mako," Bolin looked toward the entrance of the restaurant. "Korra's back."

"Yeah but what the hell is she doing with that baseball ba-"

Before Mako could complete his sentence, Mary felt as if her head exploded when the bat connected to the back of her skull. She collapsed to the floor writhing in pain as every patron in the restaurant started to panic. Most of the customers quickly ran to the door in terror, while the rest hid underneath tables, too terrified to move.

"JESUS CHRIST KORRA!"

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!"

Korra bent down and grabbed Mary by her silver hair before she had a chance to recover from the blow. "You really don't see? This chick is a freaking Mary Sue."

"I DON'T CARE WHAT SHE IS KORRA! I LOVE HER!"

"No you don't Bolin. Trust me." Korra turned to the people hiding under tables. "Nothing to see here guys. It's just a Mary Sue." The whole room started to relax and came out of their hiding places.

"Thank God, it's just a Mary Sue."

"I thought she was going to murder a real character for a second there!"

"Yeah 'that' would have been terrifying!" After the room completely cleared out, Korra lifted Mary to her feet, keeping a tight hold on her hair.

"WHERE IS SHE?!" Korra screamed, shaking Mary by her hair. She was crying hysterically now.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!"

"WHERE! IS! SHE!" Korra sneered.

"I DON'T KNOW!"

Korra grabbed Mary by the front of her shirt and threw her through the front window of the restaurant. Mary crashed through the glass and landed on the hood of a Satomobile, setting off it's car alarm. Korra leaped through the window and grabbed Mary by her neck. She opened the car door and placed Mary's head inside the door jamb.

"WHERE IS SHE?!" Korra slammed the door on her head.

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!" Korra slammed the door again.

"WHERE IS THE AUTHOR?! WHERE IS YOUR CREATOR?!"

Mary slowly lifted up her hand and pointed a bloody finger at a lone figure standing on the street corner. The girl looked like she was fourteen. She was short with stringy brown hair, thick glasses, and she was a little on the chubby side. Korra froze her in place with a glare. She grabbed Mary and placed her in a headlock. With a quick snap, Korra broke Mary's neck, all without breaking eye contact with the terrified teen. She dropped Mary's limp body and slowly stalked toward the young woman. She was too scared to run away from Korra.

When Korra reached the teen she grabbed her by the neck and held her up so she was face to face with her. "Listen here. No one likes you. No one likes your OC. Nobody wants to read a story where you self-insert a more interesting version of yourself into the plot. No one wants to read about your little fantasy where you fall in love with the cute boy. You are not attractive, you are not athletic, you do not have special powers and those boys over there." Korra pointed over her shoulder to Mako and Bolin. "Are not going to fall in love with you."

Korra let go of the girl and threw her to the ground. "The next time you write an OC, you are going to make them realistic, with real flaws. You are going to make them important to the plot, without taking over the whole story by being a special snowflake. You are not going to build them up and make them flawless, you are going to make them struggle to achieve their goals. And I swear to God, if I see another Quarter-Avatar Mary Sue coming from you. I'm going to find where you live..."

Korra bent down in front of the girl and whispered. "I'm going to break into your house. I will kill your pets. I will kill your siblings. And I will kill your parents. I will make you watch this. And when you are on the floor crying in despair..." Korra leaned forward and whispered into her ear. "I will snatch the life out of you."

Korra had to step back to avoid the growing puddle of piss that was slowing growing underneath the terrified girl. "There's some constructive criticism for you. Put it to good use." Korra left the girl on the ground and walked back to where Mako and Bolin were standing, horrified at Korra's violent outburst.

"Korra what was that about?" Mako quietly asked.

"Don't worry about it guys." Korra walked past Mako and Bolin, heading toward the docks so she can take a ferry home.

"I was just giving that Fanfiction writer an honest review."


	4. Shouldn't It Be The Other Way Around?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra Challenges Amon to a fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Rape. Just wanted to warn you guys that this chapter does mention rape. No one is actually assaulted in this chapter, but the subject is brought up.

"Sir?"

"Yes what is it?"

"Avatar Korra's press conference will be starting in five minutes."

"Thank you. You may go now." Amon watched his Lieutenant quickly exit his office. Now that he was finally alone, Amon took the opportunity to dig a bottle of bourbon out of his desk drawer. He didn't consider himself a drinking man, but the Avatar was so  _infuriating_  lately that he couldn't help but give in to the occasional drink to calm his nerves. Of course she did an admirable job of informing the city of the unbelievable power he possessed but ever since she joined Tarrlok's task force, she has been nothing but a pain in the ass. It's not like Amon had problems recruiting new members but having half of your training facilities shut down before you could properly train them was frustrating.

Amon was so absorbed in his drink and hatred of the Avatar that he didn't notice the press conference had already started. He quickly turned the volume up on the radio and listened to what the Avatar had to say.

"AVATAR KORRA!"

"Yes, you over there."

"My sources tell me that you were recently arrested Friday night for destruction of private property and killing a young woman by the name of Marilyn Suzuki. Is there any truth to this statement?"

"Yes, it is true that I was arrested Friday night and held at the downtown police station over the weekend." Amon could hear a collective gasp coming from the crowd of reporters. "However, the only crime that was committed by myself that night was the destruction of private property. All murder charges against me have been dropped by the police department."

"Avatar Korra! What about Marilyn Suzuki? Eyewitnesses state that you threw Miss Suzuki through a restaurant window, and slammed her head with a car door multiple times before you snapped her neck, instantly killing her."

"Yes, that is all true, but you left out the part where I smacked her upside her head with a baseball bat." Amon didn't have to be at the press conference to know that Korra was smiling at her own remark.

"After an extensive investigation, the forensics team have concluded that Marilyn Suzuki was, in fact, a Mary Sue character created by a young deluded teenager who has a love for inserting herself into terrible fanfictions. However, while I was doing my duty as the Avatar and a character of the Canon Avatar universe, I still committed the serious crime of damaging private property and will have to pay the consequences. The Judge has ordered me to pay a five thousand Yuan fine and I will have to do three hundred hours of community service, which is why I have agreed to help Councilman Tarrlok with his Task Force. And c'mon guys," Amon heard Korra let out a low chuckle. "No one likes Mary Sue characters. Arresting me for breaking a Mary Sue's neck is like any of you getting arrested for killing a spider-rat you found in your pantry."

"Avatar Korra! Are you worried that the family of Marilyn Suzuki will try to sue for what you have done to their daughter?"

"Well if the creator of Miss Suzuki actually bothered to create parents for her, then they're probably Mary Sue characters as well. Which means that I will probably have to send someone out to take care of them. Can we please move on now? I'm holding this press conference to talk about my work with the task force, not to discuss how I spent my weekend. Next Question."

"AVATAR KORRA!"

"Yes, you."

"With your help, Councilman Tarrlok's Task Force has made great progress in shutting down secret Equalist operations. But despite all of your efforts, Equalist leader Amon is still at large. Is there a reason why Tarrlok's Task Force has been unable to locate him?"

"You know what? I'm very glad you asked that question. Quite frankly, the reason why we haven't been able to locate Amon is because he is hiding like a little bitch. He's probably sitting in a little underground bunker somewhere, listening to this press conference and drowning himself in alcohol because he's too much of a pus- **BEEP**  to face the task force."

Well, That was unexpected.

"...And since I know Amon is listening to this right now, I'm going to take the opportunity to call this mother- **BEEP** er out. What's wrong Amon? Afraid that you are going to get the  **BEEP**  kicked out of you by a little girl? Stop being a little  **BEEP** , pull the tampon out of your c- **BEEP**  and come fight me! Tomorrow! Midnight! Aang Memorial Statue! You better **BEEP-** ing be there or I will rip off your  **BEEP** and stuff it up the  **BEEP**  of that mousy looking fa- **BEEP**  you call a Lieutenant, and then I will force you to get on your knees and make you use your teeth to pull the **BEEP**  out of his  **BEEP** -hole and I will make you  **BEEEEEEEEEP...** " The censors had given up on censoring the Avatar's cursing and opted to just hold the censor button down until Tarrlok wrestled control of the microphone away from Korra.

"Excuse me Republic City. I must apologize for Avatar Korra's...outburst. As you can see, Korra takes her job at the task force very seriously and wishes to resolve this conflict as quickly as possible. I will be answering any further quest-" Amon turned off the radio, no longer interested in what the Councilman had to say. Amon had to admit, the girl had balls, calling him out publically like that while insulting his manhood. Meeting with her tomorrow wouldn't benefit his plans in any way, but it wouldn't hurt to show up anyway to knock the girl down a peg or two. Plus, Amon would never be able to face his followers if he didn't take the Avatar up on her offer.

"Lieutenant, come in here." Amon's Lieutenant quickly left his post outside of Amon's door and entered Amon's office.

"What do you need, Sir?"

"Get ten of your best people and let them know we are going on a little field trip to Aang Memorial Statue tomorrow. I will leave the preparations to you."

"Yes Sir." The Lieutenant left Amon's office to carry out his orders. Amon finished his drink and leaned back into his chair, closing his eyes.

_"This is going to be fun."_

* * *

"Tarrlok...I can't believe you are letting her go through with this. This is unacceptable!"

"Hey, I agree with you for once. I tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn't listen." Tenzin and Tarrlok were standing on the small dock off the coast of republic city, watching Korra prepare for her showdown with Amon. "You have nothing to worry about. At the first sign of trouble, I will mobilize the task force to provide Avatar Korra with backup."

"Don't worry Tenzin, I'll be fine. Plus I have a little backup plan of my own." Korra hefted a giant duffel bag over he shoulder and tossed it into the small boat. "I stopped by the memorial earlier today to set everything up. Nothing could go wrong."

"Korra, what's in the bag?"

"I've been wondering that as well."

"Just some tools I might need, don't worry about it." Korra dodged the question. "I'll be back in a bit." Both Councilmen watched as Korra quickly waterbent her way to Aang Memorial Statue.

"We really should have talked her out of this."

"Are you kidding me?!" Tarrlok sputtered. "Did you  _see_  what she did to Marilyn Suzuki? Lin showed me the police photos, the girls head was facing the other fucking direction. You only see shit like that in horror movies." Tarrlok shivered. "She has completely lost it. If you want to talk to her be my guest, just leave me out of it. I'd rather keep my head facing the right direction, if you don't mind."

* * *

Two hours.

Korra has been waiting for two hours for Amon's ass to show up.  _"Punk ass was too much of a bitch to face me. I should have known."_  Korra couldn't help but feel a little disappointed in Amon. She went through all the trouble of setting this plan up and everything too. It was almost 2 a.m. and Korra had given up on waiting for him.  _"No point in waiting any longer, I might as well go."_ She picked up her duffel bag and began her long walk back to the dock to wait for her backup and explain what happened.

_"Burn, baby, burn...Disco Inferno"_  Korra hummed to herself.  _"Burn, Baby, Bu-_ OHSHIT!" Korra cursed as a long rope wove it's way around her ankles, causing her to fall and drop her duffel bag. "Amon you fucking cheater!" Korra screamed as she was dragged into the darkness. There really wasn't anything she could do at this point, there were too many of them. As soon as she launched an Equalist with her earthbending or knocked someone down with her fire blasts, another would take his place. The Equalists had Korra subdued within seconds. When she was forced down on her knees, Amon decided to make his presence known.

"I got your invitation, Avatar."

"Well  _obviously_  you got my invitation. I see you brought some guests as well. Aww... would you look at that, you even brought your boyfriend." Korra glared at the Lieutenant standing next to one of the Equalists holding her down. "You two are so cute together."

"You watch your mouth girl." Amon's Lieutenant pulled out his stun rods and pointed them at her.

"OH NO! NOT THE STUN RODS! What are you going to pull out of your purse next? Pepper Spray?" Korra heard an Equalist silently chuckle behind the Lieutenant, but he was quickly silenced by a glare from Amon. He bent down to the Avatar's level so he can take a moment to really study her. Now that he actually had a chance to study her closely, Amon couldn't help but think of the Avatar as a very attractive woman.

_"What the hell is wrong with me? She's the ENEMY!"_  Amon quickly pushed any dirty thoughts that lingered to the back of his head. He had some intimidating to do. "It would be so easy for me to take your bending away right now..." Amon grabbed Korra's chin and forced her to face him.  _"Her skin is so soft...I wonder what the rest of her fe- FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!"_  Amon closed his eyes for a second to will the thoughts away. "...But I won't. Taking your bending now would only make you a martyr. Thousands of benders would rally together at the loss of their precious Avatar. I'm going to save you for last, and when we fight, and I will destroy you."

It wasn't until Amon finished speaking that he noticed that he was subconsciously rubbing the Avatar's chin with his thumb. He quickly stopped himself, hoping the Avatar didn't notice.

She did.

At first, Korra could only raise an eyebrow at the odd way Amon was acting. After she put two and two together, Korra couldn't help but give Amon the smuggest grin she could manage. Korra leaned forward a little so she can whisper in Amon's ear, without letting the other Equalists eavesdrop on their conversation. "You think I don't know what you are thinking? You're probably thinking of a million different ways you can  _'destroy'_  me right now. How about you call off your dogs so we can be alone? Then we can see if we can come up with a _'battle plan'_  together."

"Wait...What?" Amon would have to be pretty dense to not pick up on the Avatar's innuendo, he just had a hard time believing that she actually suggested it.

"What's wrong Amon?" Korra was now speaking loud enough for his subordinates to hear her. "Too much of a coward to face me alone? Why don't you untie me and stop hiding behind your cronies? One-on-one, right now."

"Very well. You two, untie her. I want all of you to meet me back at base, this won't take very long." Korra couldn't help but chuckle at his last remark, Amon ignored her.

"Sir, are you sure you don't want us to stay?"

"Trust me, you guys do not want to see this. It would just be awkward."

"Quiet Avatar. I'll be fine, head back to base."

"Yes sir." The Lieutenant and his subordinates left Amon and Korra alone at the base of the statue. Both of them waited a few minutes to make sure they were really gone.

"You sure you want to go through with this? You have no idea what I'm capable of."

"I don't know, I have a good feeling about this." Korra lowered her center of gravity and put her hands up in a defensive pose. She knew exactly what he wanted from her, but she was going to make him fight for it. She may not have her bending, but that didn't mean that she couldn't kick ass. "You ready, princess?"

"Of course." Korra ran toward Amon at full speed. When she finally reached him, Korra threw two punches and followed it up with a roundhouse kick. Amon easily parried both punches and ducked underneath her kick. When she tried to hit him with a spinning back fist, he grabbed her wrist and kicked the back of her knee, causing her to lose her balance and fall forward onto her hands and knees. Amon had to admit that he liked the view.

"Hey, you want me to tell you something?" Korra stood up and brushed off the front of her pants. "I have known for the longest time that you secretly wanted to screw me."

"Really? And how did you come to that conclusion?" Amon dodged a left hook from the Avatar.

"The fangirls. They may be terrible writers, but they have a surprising knack for predicting future events." Korra tried to knee Amon in the stomach, then let out a grunt of frustration when he easily dodged it. "They predicted that you would try to take me when we meet here tonight. They have written stories where you would sneak into my bedroom in the middle of the night to violate me."

"Sneaking into your room at night? I should try that sometime." Amon chuckled. Korra tried to trip him up with a low kick, but he back flipped out of her range. She stopped her attacks to take a breather, resting her hands on her knees. "Do you want to know the one thing they always forget though?"

"What do they forget?" Korra put two fingers into her mouth and let out a loud whistle. Before Amon could even react to the loud noise, a giant white blur barreled into him, pinning him down with a giant paw on his stomach.

"They forget the fact that I have a two ton polar bear dog that can easily bite the head off of a grown man." Korra walked over to where Amon lay, and kicked him in the head, knocking him out instantly.

* * *

"Look Naga, he's waking up." Amon slowly opened his eyes. He was feeling groggy and the pain behind his eyes was unbearable. When he tried to reach up to pinch the bridge of his nose, he realized that his hands were handcuffed behind his back. When he looked down to check his injuries he noticed that his pants were pulled down to his ankles and tangled up with his boots. He couldn't help but panic at this.

"Don't worry, I pulled your pants down so you couldn't run away. Not because...well you know." Korra was hunched over her duffel bag pulling out random items. "By the way, you should probably have a doctor check out your head when we are done here. You were out for thirty minutes, which is totally bad for you. I would feel bad if my kick ended up giving you brain damage."

_"Fuck, what am I going to do now?"_  Amon knew he could easily bloodbend the Avatar and her polar bear dog to make his escape. The only problem was the fact that no one is supposed to know that he was a bloodbender. If he tried to bloodbend the girl, then she will know his secret, and if she told anyone it would undermine the whole revolution. No one would follow him if they knew he was a bender. If he tried to kill her to hide his secret, the wrath of every bender the world over would come crashing down on his little group. No matter what he did, Amon couldn't think of a way to escape this situation without affecting his long term goals.

"Amon, can I ask you a question?"

"..."

"I'll take that as a yes. What was it?"

"...What was what?"

"What was it about me that made you go into pedophile mode? What made me look attractive to you? I want to see if the fangirls were right."

"Okay, first of all I am not a pedo-"

"Yes you are." Korra interrupted him. "How old do you think I am?"

"Nine-"

"HAH! Try seventeen Amon. I don't know where you come from, but the age of consent in Republic City is eighteen. You fucking pedo." Amon had no response to that. "You are going to have to wait seven months before I can consent to anything." Korra pulled out another item from her bag.

_"Is that a ball gag? I don't like where this is going..."_

"Soo...what was it? My beautiful blue eyes? The sensual way my hips move when I walk? Do I remind you of something you lost a long time ago? Or maybe you like how exotic I look compared to most people living in Republic City. Hell, for all I know you infiltrated Air Temple Island one night and caught a glimpse of my graceful movements as I waterbent under a full moon, melting your ice cold heart a little when you saw the love I had for my natural element.

"..."

"You know what? I bet I know what it is." Korra grabbed her chest with both hands and gave her breasts a shake. "It was the tits, wasn't it?"

"..."

"Don't lie...just admit you like the tits. I'm doing a pretty decent job of hiding my ass with the animal pelt, but no matter what, I just can't hide the girls. I could be wearing five turtlenecks and I still wouldn't be able to hide them."

"...Actually... I just thought you had a pretty face."

"Oh. Okay. I don't hear that one too often, but it has happened before. You know, when I originally came up with this plan, I was thinking about giving you a taste of your own medicine."

_"Wait, is she saying that she was gonna..."_

"Yeah I was planning on raping you." Korra couldn't help but smile at the confused look Amon had on his face. "I know what you're thinking. You are probably thinking, 'Oh it won't be that bad, she will just climb on top of me and do a reverse cowgirl or something like that, that way we both can enjoy it.' But trust me, I wasn't going to do it that way, I wanted to make you  _suffer._ _"_ Korra picked up the ball gag. "I was going to stuff this in your mouth so you couldn't scream. And then..." Korra pulled out another object out of her bag and it was  **huge**.

"I just picked this out of Pema's garden this morning." Korra lazily tossed the vegetable from one hand to another. "Have you ever seen a zucchini this big before? This fucker is bigger than my forearm. I told Pema I wanted to cut it up to make fried zucchini. If she ever found out what I really planned to do with this, she would probably go into labor early. Anyways, I was going to take this beautiful specimen of a vegetable and absolutely destroy your anus with it."

Amon was thankful that his pants were pulled down around his ankles. That means he wouldn't have to wash them later.

"I brought some other toys with me too. This whip... a vibrator... lube, hell I might be mean but raping you without lube would just be cruel. I found all kinds of cool shit at the sex shop downtown. I'm surprised they even sold this stuff to me, but then again, they probably had the same idea you did and thought I was nineteen."

"Oh God, I think I'm gonna pass out..."

"Hey stay awake, you might have a concussion." Korra slapped him lightly to make sure Amon stayed awake. "And don't worry Amon. While you were sleeping, I did a bit of thinking. I thought 'Sure I could go through with raping this man, but if I did that I would be no better than those terrible fangirls who write rapefic. I would just be reinforcing their beliefs that rape is actually okay.' I may be crazy, but I would never stoop so low as to rape someone." Korra picked up her 'toys' and put them back into the duffel bag. "Unless, of course, they decided to ignore my warnings." Korra threw Amon a pointed look.

"The next time you try to pull this stunt, I won't be as forgiving. You even think about raping me again I will take this zucchini, cover it in glue, and roll it around in broken glass. When the glue dries, I will put another coat of glue on it, roll it around in a bucket of asbestos and I will rape you with it so hard you will get Mesothelioma. You understand me?"

Good Lord, Korra.

That's just Wrong.

Korra didn't even care that she was contradicting herself, she had to make a point. She was tired of fangirls giving her smut filled stories where she enjoys being raped. She knew she succeeded in putting the fear of God into Amon, but there could be others, and she had to come up with a strategy to deal with them as well.

"I think we're done here. You can have these." Korra tossed the duffel bag to Amon. "But I'm keeping this. I could totally go for some fried zucchini right now. I wonder if we have ranch at home... C'mon Naga!" Korra pulled the handcuff key out of her pocket and threw it across the room. "I hope you will be able to find that key. If you don't, you're pretty much screwed." Korra climbed up onto Naga's back.

"Normally it would be a good idea to signal the Task Force so they can arrest you. But I can't do that because we are only four episodes in and Mike and Bryan planned for the season to last another eight episodes, so I'm gonna let it slide."

_"Mike? Bryan? What the hell is this girl going on about?"_

"See you at the Pro-Bending Finals, Amon!" Korra waved and bounded off on Naga. Naga leapt into the water and started to swim toward Air Temple Island.  _"Well, now that I've dealt with one rapist male, that leaves..."_  Korra took a moment to count off the names in her head.  _"Thirty two. Damn this is going to be a pain in the ass."_

Korra definitely had a long way to go.


	5. God Just Kill Me Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra is transported to the Magical World of High School Fanfiction. And it is terrible.

_"Oh my God this shit is terrible..."_  Korra hated to admit it, but she was starting to miss the rape fics.  _"At least when I'm being violated by men, the fangirls have the decency to make it interesting._   _What is it with fangirls and High School fics?"_

Korra was sitting on her bed, back against the headboard, thumbing her way through the newest fanzine. Since September was finally here, she couldn't help but notice that there was a definite increase in stories about high school.  _"I was home schooled on the compound for crying out loud! I graduated and everything!"_  Korra flipped the page to the beginning of a new chapter.  _"Chapter 47...Korra and Mako eat lunch..."_

_"Hey Korra, pass the ketchup." Korra couldn't help but blush every time Mako talked to her. She also couldn't help but swoon at the sound of his husky voice, and everytime he said her name she was hypnotized. Whenever she looked at him, she couldn't help but thank God for allowing her to become friends with this perfect specimen of a human male._

_"Uh, Korra..." She was openly staring at him now, admiring his lightly muscled frame, his perfect face, and oh God...those **EYEBROWS.**_

_"Never mind, I'll get it myself." When Mako reached across the table to grab the ketchup next to Korra, she couldn't help but inhale a little bit of his scent. She loved the way he smelled. It was a mix of body soap, ashes and something that was distinctly male..._

Korra stopped reading so she could grab something from the bottom of her dresser drawer. When she plopped back down on her bed, she uncorked the bottle and took a long swig of the fire wine. Korra knew that the only way she was going to make it through this story was by getting drunk.  _"Katara was right when she said that a high school fic is like reading Little Red Riding Hood without the big bad wolf. Out of all the things that would cause me to drink, it had to be fanfiction. Not stress, not worrying about being a 'good Avatar'...but motherfucking teenage girls writing terrible stories about me. How the hell did Master Katara deal with all this shit?"_

Let's just say that Cocaine is one hell of a drug.

One and a half bottles of fire wine and 18 chapters later, Korra decided that she just couldn't do it anymore.  _"65 chapters...65 chapters of nothing and they haven't even_ _ **kissed**_ _yet. Screw this, I'm_  done." Korra shut the magazine and shoved it underneath her dresser. After Meelo found her other magazines, Korra had to change hiding places. Fortunately, the boy didn't know how to read yet. Unfortunately, explaining to the young airbender that her and Naga were  _"Fighting"_  in the centerfold picture of one of the magazines definitely made her top ten list of most awkward moments ever.

Korra collapsed face first into her pillow, not even bothering to cover herself up with her blankets.  _"I'm going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow."_

* * *

Well, the good news is that Korra didn't wake up the next morning with a hangover. The bad news is that Korra had no idea where the hell she was.  _"The fuck is this shit?"_  Korra had to admit that between her Avatar duties and pro-bending, she hardly spent any time in her own room. But she sure as hell didn't remember her room being  ** _purple._**   _"The fuck are those?"_  She looked up at the posters hanging on her walls. A few of them were posters of a brown haired woman and two men posing in front of a smoky background. Apparently these were movie posters for a film called "Twilight". A couple of other posters featured a feminine looking teen aged boy named Justin Bieber on them.

"Korra sweetie, hurry up and get dressed. You're gonna be late." Korra couldn't help but think that the female voice sounded nothing like Pema, yet she couldn't help but feel like she recognizes the voice.

_"And who the fuck was that?"_ Korra definitely sensed that something was wrong here, but she figured that she might as well face this weirdness fully clothed, so she rolled out of bed and walked to her closet. Just like everything else in her room, her whole wardrobe was replaced by strange looking clothing. After she picked out a simple outfit of black jeans, a blue Old Navy t-shirt, and some black shoes with a Converse logo on it, Korra headed downstairs to see what the hell was going on. She realized that she wasn't on Air Temple Island anymore, but in a new house entirely. When she finally walked into the kitchen, she couldn't believe her eyes.

"Mom? Dad?"

Sure enough, her parent's were sitting at the kitchen table eating pancakes, with a plate set aside for her. "Mornin' champ, sit down and eat." Surprisingly, Korra's father was wearing a business suit. "I'm going to be home a little late today, but I will have Friday off, so we can spend some time together." Korra sat down and poured some syrup over her pancakes. She ate her food quietly and just listened to her parents making small talk over breakfast. She couldn't help but feel content, just her and her parents, sitting down and eating breakfast like a family. It just felt  _right._  Korra didn't exactly have a normal life with her parents because of her Avatar training, so she couldn't help but relish this overwhelming feeling of everything being, well... normal. But since the universe hates Korra, the moment had to be ruined.

"Korra, hurry up and finish breakfast. You don't want to be late for your first day of school."

Did she just say  ** _school?_**

She should have known. She should have fucking known something like this was going to happen. The universe blessed her with a chance to finally be with her parents, but it came at too high of a price.

"NO! NO!  **NO NO NO NO NO!**  WHY UNIVERSE? WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME? AM I BEING PUNISHED? I'M SORRY OKAY?! I WASN'T REALLY GOING TO DO THAT ZUCCHINI THING TO AMON I SWEAR! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T MAKE ME GO TO  **HIGH SCHOOL!** _"_  Korra collapsed to the floor and continued to curse the spirits for the misfortune that fell upon her.

Tonraq turned to Senna and asked. "Why the hell does she always do this on the first day of school?"

"No Idea."

"Do you have any idea what she means by 'that zucchini thing?'"

"Nope."

* * *

Senna had to practically throw Korra onto the front yard to get her to go to school. Korra landed on her rump and tried to run back inside, but Senna slammed the door in her face and quickly locked it. "MOM PLEASE! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE PUTTING ME THROUGH!"

"KORRA KANNA KYA HAMA YUE YUGODA TUI LA WATERTRIBE! THAT IS ENOUGH! You are going, young lady. And if I get a call from the school about you ditching class again, so help me God I will tan your hide! NOW GO TO SCHOOL!" Korra forgot how scary her mother could be sometimes. Korra picked up her backpack and walked toward the sidewalk to head to school. "Korra, you forgot your car keys." Korra turned around in time to get hit in the chest with her car keys. She grabbed them before they hit the ground and stared at them.

_"Wait... I have a car?"_

* * *

"HEY ASSHOLE!" Korra cursed. "GET THE LEAD OUT!" She pounded on the horn until the guy two cars ahead realized the light was turning yellow and sped off with just enough time to let himself through before the light turned red again. "EAT A BAG OF DICKS, YOU FUCKING WHORE!" Korra couldn't believe her luck, she was definitely going to be late for school. The weird thing is that she couldn't even fathom why the hell she should care about being late. She just did. "Might as well see what's on the radio." Korra turned the knob.

**_~AND I WAS LIKE BABY, BABY, BABY, OOOOHHHH, LIKE BABY, BABY, BABY NOOOO~_ **

_CLICK_

**_~HEY I JUST MET YOU, AND THIS IS CRAZY, BUT HERE'S MY NUMBER~_ **

_CLICK_

**_~CRAWLING IN MY SKINNNNNN, THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEALLLLLLL~_ **

_CLICK_

**_~FRIDAY, FRI~_ **

_CLICK_

**_~THESE WOUNDS WON'T SEEM TO HEAL, THIS PAIN IS JUST TOO REAL~_ **

_CLICK_

Korra turned the radio off and slammed her fist against the steering wheel, not caring how much it hurt. "Somebody, please, just kill me now." The light turned green, but the car in front of her wasn't moving. "Oh my God we just went through this a minute ago. What the fuck BITCH! GET OFF YOUR CELLPHONE AND FUCKING DRIVE!" Once again the person in front of her realized the light changed, and sped off with just enough time for her car to get through, leaving Korra at the intersection. Korra put her car in park before letting her foot off of the brake. She was going to need her whole body for this.

"FUCK SHIT BITCH MOTHERFUCKER ASS LICKING SHIT EATING SONS OF CRACK WHORES! HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO GO AT A GREEN LIGHT? WHERE THE SHIT ARE THESE PEOPLE GETTING THEIR LICENSES AT? I SWEAR TO GOD I'M CRASHING MY MOTHERFUCKING SUBARU INTO THE NEXT PERSON I SEE ON THEIR PIECE OF SHIT CELLPHONE! AND WHEN THEIR CAR ROLLS OVER INTO A DITCH, I WILL DRAG THEM OUT OF THE CAR AND SHOVE A RED, HOT ROD INTO THEIR PEE-HOLE!" Korra banged her head against the steering wheel repeatedly until she couldn't stand the pain anymore. She turned to her right to stare at the driver in the car next to her. He was staring at her with a scared look on his face, holding a cellphone in his hand like he was getting ready to dial a number. When Korra glared at him, he dropped his cellphone in his lap and sped across the intersection, nearly colliding with another car. The traffic light finally turned green and Korra shifted her car into gear and started driving.

"I swear nobody knows how to drive in this city."

* * *

It was already ten minutes after 8 by the time Korra walked into her English class. "You're late."

"I'm sorry sir, traffic was terrible and...Tarrlok?"

"That's 'Sifu Tarrlok' to you. Now take a seat, you're disrupting my class." Tarrlok continued lecturing as Korra took a seat next to her best friend Bolin.

"Psst! Korra. I took some notes, you can copy them if you want."

"Thanks Bolin, you're the best friend a girl can have."

"Um yeah...that's what friends are for, right?" Korra had a hard time figuring out the look that Bolin was giving her. He looked kinda  _hurt._

"Something wrong Bolin?" She whispered. In the blink of an eye, the look was gone and Bolin flashed her a smile. He was about to open his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it when he noticed Tarrlok glaring at them. Bolin turned his head back to his desk and Korra took this as a chance to think of a way to get out of this mess.

_"Crap, how did that High School story end? I really need to figure out how to get out of this nightmare."_  Korra took a minute to recall everything she read in the story.  _"Let's see... the first 20 chapters had pseudo-Korra fantasizing about Mako, then the next 20 had Mako realizing that he likes me too, but was too conflicted because he didn't want to dump Asami. Then there were about ten chapters with English teacher weirdness..."_  Korra took a moment to look up at where Tarrlok was sitting at his desk. While she was thinking, Tarrlok instructed the students to read from their textbooks while he sat at his desk. At the moment, Tarrlok was resting his chin in his right hand and staring at Korra like she was the only person in the room. When they made eye contact, Tarrlok gave her a small smirk and winked at her. _"Sigh...Looks like I'm going to have to deal with 'English teacher weirdness' as well. Shit what were the last few chapters about? I really shouldn't have opened that bottle of wine..."_

Before Korra realized it the bell rang. "That's weird..." Korra looked at her watch. "I got to class like five minutes ago. What is it with high school fics and really short classes?" She mumbled. Korra stuffed the notes Bolin gave her into her backpack and headed to the door.

"Don't forget class, I want you to read the first five chapters, there's going to be a quiz on it tomorrow. And Korra,"

Korra already had one foot out the door and she couldn't help but inwardly curse at her terrible luck. "Yes sir?" She seethed.

"Stay after class. I need to discuss something with you." Korra shrugged off her backpack and leaned against her desk while she waited for the rest of the students to clear out. When they were finally alone Tarrlok closed the door so they can have some privacy. "You don't remember me, do you?"

"I don't know. Do I?'

"I was friends with your father. The last time I saw you, you were this tall." Tarrlok held his hand at just below chest level. "It was at your tenth birthday party. Right before I left town to teach at the university."

"Oh yeah? That was seven years ago."

"Yeah and I gotta admit, you have grown into..." Tarrlok paused to look Korra over from head to toe. She couldn't help but feel irked at his behavior.

"Did I mention that my party was seven years ago?"

"A fine..."

"Seven years. What's ten plus seven?"

"Young woman..."

"Good Lord, I'm seventeen Tarrlok." _  
_

"Korra please." Tarrlok pretended to act hurt. "I know I am a friend of the family, but when we are at school, you have to call me 'Sifu Tarrlok.'"

"Oh yeah? I bet you would just love that, wouldn't you?" Tarrlok licked his lips and gave her a once over again.

"Why yes, I would love that. A lot."

Korra crossed her arms in front of her to block his view of her chest. "Can I go now? Second period's about to start."

"Yeah, you can go." Tarrlok smiled at her as she grabbed her bag and walked through the door. She didn't have to look behind her to know that Tarrlok was staring at her ass. She could faintly make out Tarrlok whispering something to himself as she walked away.

"That's right...walk slowly..."

_"I don't know how much of this I can take."_

* * *

Next period Korra had P.E., luckily she was also in this class with Mako and Asami. "Hey Korra, what's up?" Mako sat on the ground next to her and started stretching his legs. "Can you believe Ms. Beifong is making us run laps?"

"Y-yeah, it kinda sucks." Korra stammered.  _"Did I just stutter? What the hell?"_ Why was she acting awkward around Mako? It was never like that when they hung out before.

Oh yeah that's right. It's freaking High School. "So what did you do over summer break Mako?"

"Asami's parents let me vacation with them at their beach house. We had a blast." Damn, Korra forgot about  _Asami._  She knew that the whole High School atmosphere was affecting her, but she couldn't help but feel a little jealous.

"Hey Korra, hey babe. What are you guys talking about?" Well speak of the devil...

"Just what we did over summer vacation. I told her about the beach house." Mako stood up and gave Asami a quick peck on the cheek. Korra couldn't stand watching them act all affectionate so she focused her attention on the P.E. teacher, Lin Beifong.

"That's enough you two, you had plenty of time to suck faces over the summer. Now that summer's over, we get back to work. Four laps around the track, now get to it!"

"C'mon Ms. Beifong. It's the first day of school. Can't we just play baseball like the other class?" A student called from the back.

"No, you can't. And that little temper tantrum just earned you five laps. Now start running!"

Two laps later and Korra felt like she was going to throw up. Asami and Mako were jogging a few feet in front of her  _Holding hands_  for crying out loud.  _"Why the fuck are they so 'perfect' together? I feel like I'm getting diabetes."_  They really were perfect for each other, though Korra hated to admit it.  _"I wonder if Mako would act the same way if we dated..."_

"HEY! HEAD"S UP!"

_"If we were dating, would he hold my hand while we ran? Would he spend summer vac-"_

**WHACK** _  
_

Korra didn't have time to react as the baseball beaned her in the temple, causing her to face plant in the dirt. She felt Mako turn her body over so she was staring up at him. "Are you okay Korra?"

"Ow...what the hell happened." Korra rubbed her head and tried to sit up.  _"Wow he really cares about me..."_

"You don't know? Korra, you got knocked the fuck out!" He let out a low chuckle at her terrible luck. Okay, so maybe he didn't care about her as much as she would like.

"Mako, don't tease her. She got hit pretty hard. Here let me help you up." There goes Asami acting all perfect again. She was her friend and everything, but sometimes her perfection got on Korra's nerves.

"Alright people, stop gawking! Korra go to the nurses office to get that bump checked out. The rest of you, KEEP RUNNING!"

* * *

"Man...high school can go fuck itself." She was sitting in the waiting room of the nurses office, poking the large bump on her head. "Maybe if I pretend to have a concussion, the nurse will let me go home early."

"Sorry dear, but I will be able to tell if you were faking." The school nurse finally opened her office door to let Korra in. Wait...is that...

"Master Katara? What are you doing here?" She couldn't believe her luck, if anyone knew how to get out of a high school fic, it was Master Katara.

"I had a feeling this would happen eventually, so I took a boat to Republic City to give you a hand. Are...are you crying?"

"I-I-I CAN'T H-H-H-H-ELP IT! I'M SOOOO HAPPY!" Korra launched herself into Master Katara's arms and vented her frustration until she was able to calm down. She wiped the tear stains from her eyes and asked Katara, "So how do I get out of this hellhole?"

"It's not that easy Korra. A high school fic can end in two different ways. And about 80 percent of high school fanfics end in terrible tragedy."

"What do you mean?"

"The author runs out of ideas for her fic and it goes into purgatory, never to be updated again."

"So it would just stop and I would be free?"

"No, it doesn't work that way."

"Then what happens?"

"Well have you ever seen that movie with Bill Murray? Groundhog Day? It's kind of like that. That happened to me once when the author didn't update. I relived that same chapter for a whole year."

"...Oh my God, if I had to do that I would kill myself."

"Don't do that, it doesn't work. You would just wake up the next day at the beginning of the chapter."

_"Wow... that is a fate much worse than death._ "Korra had to admit that she was getting very scared of the possibility that she would be put 'on hiatus'.  _"I can't let that happen to me."_

"So, what's the other way to end a high school fanfic?" Katara opened her mouth to answer her but the bell rang, signalling the end of second period.

"Oh dear, it's time to go to your next class. you don't want to be late. Here take this." Katara handed her an ice pack. "Keep that pressed to your bruise, it should be gone in a couple of days."

"Wait! What's the other way to end a high school fanfic?"

"Sorry Korra, but we're out of time."

"What do you mean we're 'out of time'?"

"The chapter's ending." Katara stated matter-of-factly.

"What? Really?!"

"Afraid so Korra." Korra couldn't believe that the Universe is pulling this shit on her.

"Well...Fuck."


	6. Yep, Still in High School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra escapes the High School Fic.

_Avatar Log #871_

_It has been...Fuck! How long has it been since I started this nightmare? I lost count around 3,000 days, and that was a **long**  time ago. Shit, it doesn't matter. It has been too long since I found myself in this purgatory that is known as 'High School' and I'm about as close to figuring out how to escape as I was the first day I came here. I'm pretty sure I haven't been living the same chapter over and over again, so that is at least a good thing right? The problem is that the author can't seem to find a way to end the story. I must have graduated high school at least 20 times by now, even made valedictorian a few times. The first time I graduated, I was relieved because I thought maybe, just maybe this high school hell would end. I thought I would at least go into a college fic and just have something  **different**  happen for once. But every single time, I would just fall asleep, wake up the next day and it would be the first day of school all over again. To make matters worse, I seem to be the only one who remembers the previous school year. It's like their memories would be wiped completely and I would be the only one who really knows what's going on._

_It was probably eight school years ago when I finally snapped and tried to end it all. I sat in the middle of the train tracks, and just waited for Death to take me. As the train came within yards of me, Bolin... God **Bolin...**  just came the fuck out of no where and saved my ass. I don't know if I should thank him or resent him for what he did that day. I spent the next ten chapters in a mental hospital, learning how to deal with my suicidal thoughts. After I was discharged, everything went back to whatever twisted thing you call normal in this alternate universe. That's how it has been for the past few school years now. I would do something drastic just to break up the monotony of High School life. I would do drugs, drink alcohol, join bending gangs, cut myself, just anything to make things different, not caring what happens to me.  
_

_I had my Graduation Ceremony earlier today. Is it the 21st time I graduated? 22nd? 23rd? I don't even know anymore. Just because I felt like it, I ditched my family and friends after the ceremony and headed to my English class. Tarrlok was there alone, packing up his things, getting ready to leave for the day. He greeted me the usual way he did when we were alone, with a smile and a crude remark about my figure...I called him 'Sifu Tarrlok' for the first time today. All it took were those two words from me to completely make him lose control. We had sex on his desk, I wouldn't call it romantic, just two people fucking their brains out, not caring if anyone caught us. We were just using each other to vent our frustrations, his sexual, mine the inability to change things. When we were finished, he told me he loved me. I **hate**  it when he does that, even though it shouldn't surprise me anymore. This isn't the first time I had sex with Tarrlok, he does the same thing every time. I try to not let it bother me because I know that by the time I wake up tomorrow, he will forget everything that happened and the cycle will start all over again. _ _Part of me just wants to give in, see if I can grow to love him someday. Maybe we can spend the whole year as a couple, just so I won't feel as alone in this high school purgatory, but I can't let myself do that. It just feels like it was never meant to be, like I'm not supposed to love him, but someone else. I don't even know if I am capable of dealing with a year long romance, only to have everything reset on me in the end._

_God, I wish Katara was here. After I had that talk with her my first day here, it's like she completely disappeared off of the face of the planet. I spent countless hours looking for her in the city and now I'm pretty sure she went back to the Southern Water Tribe. She never returns my letters and I have tried to convince my parents to let me go and visit her but every single time they would tell me to "Wait until you go on **summer break,**  then you can visit her." I keep telling them that it isn't possible, but they won't listen. Whenever summer, or any kind of break really, comes around, I would just wake up the next day and the break would be over. I haven't had a real vacation, besides the weekend, from high school in over 20 years...Could I even call it 20 years? I don't know, I haven't aged at all since I got here. It's like time just stops, nothing can move forward here without being reset at the end of the school year. I...I think I'm going to give up on waiting for Katara. Maybe if I'm lucky, one of the fangirls will figure out how to properly end a high school fic so I can finally escape this hell hole. So far, no one has been able to manage it, they all lose interest in the story by the time the school year is halfway over._

_**"Korra! Why are you still up? We have a busy day tomorrow. Did you already forget that we were going to take a tour of Republic City University tomorrow?"**   
_

_**"No Mom, I didn't forget."** _

_**"Well, go to bed then. I don't want you walking around all day like a zombie."** _

_**"Okay Mom. Goodnight."** _

_**"Goodnight Sweetie."** _

**_*sigh...*_ ** _You have no idea how many times I have had that conversation, word for word. We never go to the University, I wish I could just tell her that, but she wouldn't believe me. Tomorrow, she is going to wake me up, I will get dressed and she will tell me to hurry up and finish breakfast so I won't be late for my first day of school. I don't know how much of this I will be able to take, maybe I should throw myself under a bus this time... Who am I kidding? Bolin will just save me again, like he did all the other times. Sometimes I just wish that he wasn't so much of a good friend to me. I guess my only hope is to find a fangirl who figured out the solution. I hate to admit it, but I'm putting all of my faith in the crazy fans who write rape fic about me. **God help them,**  they are the only ones who can save me now._

_This is Avatar Korra, signing off._

Korra turned off the tape recorder and stuffed it into one of the two dozen tape-filled shoe boxes she had underneath her bed. She dug a bottle of Bacardi 151 out of her closet and poured herself a shot. It didn't take Korra long to build up a tolerance to wine, so she had to move on to something stronger. "Maybe I should get a bottle of absinthe next time." She mumbled to herself.

Korra stood in the middle of her dark room and raised her glass in the air, giving herself a toast. "Here's to another  _wonderful_  school year. May there be many more to come." Korra finished the glass in one gulp, swishing the liquid around her mouth for a couple of seconds so she can feel the burn. She put the bottle and glass back in her hiding place and collapsed into her bed. Seconds later, she was asleep.

* * *

"Korra, hurry up and finish breakfast. You don't want to be late for your first day of school."

"Okay Mom..."

"You alright champ?"

"I'm fine Dad." Korra stuffed the last few bites of her pancakes into her mouth, walked out the front door and climbed into her Subaru. On the way to school, Korra turned on the radio to see if she could find a song that she could actually tolerate.

**~YOU'RE LISTENING TO 107.3, THE BELIEBERS. WHERE WE PLAY ALL BIEBER, ALL THE TI~**

CLICK

**~YOU A STUPID HOE, YOU A, YOU A STUPID HOE~**

CLICK

**~I LIKE THAT BOOM BOOM POW, THEM CHICKENS JACKIN' MY STYLE, THEY TRY TO COPY MY~**

CLICK

**~I'M SEXY AND I KN~**

**CRACK!**

Korra slammed her fist into the radio display, cracking the screen and causing it to spark up a little. "Why the fuck is there never anything good on the GOD DAMN RADIO?!" Korra punched the radio a second time for good measure when the weirdest thing happened. The radio started emitting a lot of static, like there was some kind of interference messing with the signal. When the static died down, Korra could hear a song she never heard before playing faintly on the radio. She turned the volume up so she could make out what the singer was saying.

**~RISE UP THIS MORNIN', SMILED WITH THE RISIN' SUN, THREE LITTLE BIRDS, PITCH BY MY DOORSTEP~**

She couldn't believe it, this song was nothing like the songs playing on the other stations. This song was actually  _Good._

**~SINGIN' SWEET SONGS, OF MELODIES PURE AND TRUE, SAYIN', "THIS IS MY MESSAGE TO YOU-OU-OU"~**

Korra couldn't help it, She had to pull over and listen to the song. The man on the radio started to sing the chorus.

**~SINGIN' DON'T WORRY 'BOUT A THING, 'CAUSE EVERY LITTLE THING GONNA BE ALRIGHT~**

Korra felt something wet trail down the side of her cheek. She didn't realize she was crying until now. The song was so simple, but she couldn't help but cry at it's beauty. For the first time in months (years?) Korra felt a little twinge of happiness. The message of the song couldn't help but give her a little hope. "Don't worry about a thing, Everything's going to be alright." Those were definitely words she could live by. The song ended a couple of minutes later and the DJ spoke up.

**~You're listening to 105.1 Pirate Radio, the only station where we don't play any of that teeny-bopper crap. This is DJ Shiro and that wonderful song you just heard was "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley, may he rest in peace. Up next I got an old classic for all you movers and shakers out there. "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen..~**

Korra shifted her car back into gear and pulled back into traffic as the next song started to play. She knew she was going to be late to school, but she didn't care, because everything was gonna be alright. She wasn't entirely sure, but Korra had a feeling the universe delivered that song to her in order to keep her going.

"It must be a sign. Maybe things will be different this time around." **  
**

* * *

Korra had a terrible first day of school so far but she wasn't gonna let it bring her down. She was stuffing books in her locker, humming the lyrics to her new favorite song when Bolin showed up behind her.

"Looks like someone is in a good mood."

"Bolin! how's my best buddy in the world doin'?" Bolin didn't have time to react before Korra wrapped him up in a big bear hug, not caring if she got weird stares from the other students. Bolin just stood there awkwardly until she released him, holding him at arms length. "You have a good first day of school?"

"Er...yeah, how about you?"

"Well...first period, my English teacher kept giving me weird looks, second period a seagull took a shit in my hair and I had to wash it out in the locker room. Third period I had an old hag of a teacher who already hates me and Fourth period I tripped and face-planted in front of the whole class." Korra flashed Bolin a prize winning smile. "But I'm in too good of a mood to let that bring me down. Let's go get some lunch."

Korra practically dragged Bolin to the cafeteria line. After they got their lunches, they took a seat next to Mako and Asami. It wasn't long until they fell into a comfortable conversation, but Korra tuned them out, only speaking up to answer an occasional question was directed at her.  _"I have a pretty great feeling that I will get a sign soon, but who knows when that will happen. What should I do until then? Maybe I'll be valedictorian again..."_

Then she heard it, Two tables away.

"Hey Jin, guess what? I finally finished My High School fanfic."

"That's great Miki! I remember you working so hard on it over the summer. I gotta read the last chapter when I get home today."

"I just know you'll love it."

They did it. They fucking did it. After so many years the fangirls finally came through for her.

 **"MIIKIIIII!"**  Korra stood up so abruptly that her chair was knocked back a few feet. She leaped onto her friend's table and hopped onto the next one, not caring that she stepped on some poor guys hamburger. When she jumped onto the table where Miki and Jin were sitting, she crouched down and grabbed Miki by the straps of her backpack.

**"IS IT TRUE?!"**

"IS WHAT TRUE?"

**"DID YOU ACTUALLY FINISH A HIGH SCHOOL FIC?!"**

"OH MY GOD YES! PLEASE JUST LET ME GO!"

**"sHOoooOOw meeE!"**

"Right now?"

**"YeeeEEESsssS** **"**

"Alright Alright! Let's go to the library."

"Thank you!" Korra let the poor girl go and hopped down from the lunch table. Mako, Bolin and Asami watched her go.

"Babe, I gotta admit, sometimes Korra scares the shit out of me."

"She scares me too Asami."

* * *

"Wait... you're telling me that people put their stories online now?"

"Yeah, there are all kinds of sites, but this site is the most popular one." Miki continued to type away at the keyboard. "You have a computer at home right?"

"Um, yeah but I never use it."

"Well you're gonna have to use it if you want to read my story. This is it right here. 'Makorra 4eva: A high school story'."

 _"God that title is terrible..."_  Korra didn't dare to voice her opinion out loud. The title may be retarded as hell, but this girl actually found a solution, so she would have to suck it up. "So how does it end?"

"What? don't you want to read the whole story?"

"Not really. How does it end?"

"It ends when the cute boy and, well, you finally admit your feelings for each other and make love for the first time." Korra was confused now.

"Hold up, I fucked Tarrlok a dozen times and nothing happened."

"Wait, you had sex with- never mind, I don't want to know. You have to fall in love and have sex with the right person."

Seriously? Korra was stuck in this high school purgatory because she was fucking the wrong  _person?_  "You gotta be shittin' me. Who am I supposed to fall in love with?"

"Well if you really want to know, you gotta read the description. Here." Miki pointed to a story on the screen. "This is the high school fic you are stuck in."

"How the fuck do you know that?"

"Iunno." Miki shrugged her shoulders. She didn't have the energy to explain the truck-sized plot hole to Korra. "Just read the description."

"Okay... 'YAY MAKO AND KORRA ARE IN HIGH SCHOOL!' So I'm supposed to fall in love with Mako?"

"Don't forget, you have to 'consummate' it as well."

"Alright, I can do that. Thanks for the help." Korra patted the girl on the shoulder, and left her alone in the library. "I just knew today would be a good day."

* * *

_Avatar Log #872_

_It has been two weeks since Miki showed me the solution. Since then, I have studied this 'Makorra 4Eva' story in great detail. Judging by the awkward way Mako interacts with me and the numerous times I have caught him staring at me in class, I can say with great confidence that Mako is, in fact, attracted to me. That means my job is halfway done, all I have to do is work him over a little more until he realizes he loves me. I decided to use some of the strategies from 'Makorra 4Eva and various high school fics to expedite the love process._

_Some of the strategies I have tried include: Showering him with gifts._

"Hey Mako."

"Yeah what is it Korra?" Mako and Korra were sitting in a local pizza place sharing a medium pizza. Korra pulled a plastic bag out of her backpack and slid it across the table to him.

"So I was at the mall yesterday...you know, just shopping, no big deal. I was browsing around Gamestop when I saw this game and thought of you. So...Surprise!" Korra watched with baited breath as Mako pulled the game out of the bag.

"WOW! I can't believe you bought me Battlefield: Modern Warfare 6! Thanks Korra, you're a great friend!"

"...Friend?"

"Yeah, I was going to buy this game on Friday so me and Asami could play it together but you saved me the trouble. Thanks again Korra, you should come and play with us sometime."

"...motherfucker..."

"You say something?"

"N-no, I'm just glad you like it." Son of a Bitch.

_Needless to say, buying Mako video games appears to have the opposite effect than what I was hoping for. So I moved on to my next strategy: Driving a wedge between Mako and Asami's relationship by spreading rumors._

"Don't start the movie yet. I'm going to make some popcorn."

"Hurry up Bo." Bolin left Mako and Korra alone in their living room. This week they were having movie night at the brother's house. Asami couldn't make it because she was out having dinner with her father and a few of his business partners.

"So...Mako, we're friends right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well I heard some nasty rumors, and I just hope that me repeating them won't make you mad at me or anything."

"I promise I won't get mad. What have you heard?"

"Well... a friend of a friend told me," Korra took a breath to gather her courage. "That they saw Asami giving neck to like 5 different guys underneath the bleachers at school."

"What the hell Korra?!"

"Hey you said you wouldn't get mad at me!"

"Who the fuck told you that?"

"...A friend of a friend, you wouldn't know him." Mako took a few seconds to calm himself down, before he spoke again.

"It's not true Korra. Don't listen to those rumors."

"Really? because I haven't even told you the worst part yet." Mako pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration

"I know I shouldn't ask, but what else did he say?"

"He told me that there was a dog there too."

"JESUS CHRIST KORRA!"

_Mako didn't believe me for a second, so that plan was also a failure. I had to step up my game a little, using a tried and true method. Make Mako jealous by dating someone else._

Mako was standing in front of his locker, pulling out the textbooks he would need for his next class when Korra showed up.

"Hey Mako."

"Hey Korra." Mako turned around to face her. "Um, who are they?" Korra was standing there, with a boy on each arm.

"Oh yeah, I guess I should introduce you three. Mako, meet Tahno and Hasook. My boyfriends."

 _"Wait...did she say boyfriends?"_  Mako was getting a little confused now. "So... which one is your boyfriend?"

"Both of them."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Okay..." Mako held out his hand. "Uh, well it was nice to meet both of you." Mako felt more awkward as the seconds passed by. They just stood there, staring at him.

"Oops, my bad. They're not allowed to interact without my permission. Tahno, Hasook, be nice and shake Mako's hand."

"Yes Madam."

"Of course." Tahno and Hasook took turns shaking Mako's hand.

"Okay boys, that's enough of that. Now go out and make Mama some money." Korra slapped both of them on the ass, urging them forward.

"As you wish, Madam." Tahno and Hasook bowed to Korra before leaving her alone with Mako.

"Korra... are those guys prostitutes?"

"C'mon Mako, you gotta give me more credit than that. They're male escorts."

"So you're a pimp?'

"I like to use the term Madam."

_As usual, this plan fell through as well. I might keep Tahno and Hasook around though, they make pretty good money. After that last stunt, I figured that Mako might be getting a little suspicious so I had to tone it down a bit. During my high school fic studies, I couldn't help but notice that the cute boy always fell for the tomboy. Boys can't help but relate to a girl who acts more masculine than her peers. Taking this into consideration, I worked on my latest plan._

"Alright men, listen up!" Korra was standing in the middle of her basement, surrounded by Mako, Bolin and a few other boys from school. She was wearing a white tank top and black sweat pants. Both of her hands and feet were wrapped in athletic tape. "I'm glad you all showed up."

"Korra," Bolin piped up. "Why are we here?"

"Glad you asked Bolin." Korra rubbed her hands together. "Boys, we're gonna start a fight club."

"A fight club?"

"Yep." Korra started to pace back and forth, taking a second to make eye contact with each boy there. " I guess I should tell you the rules now. The first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is-"

"Korra Sweetie!"

"Oh for the love of- WHAT IS IT MOM?"

"Dad told me you were having your little Karate Club meeting downstairs, so I made your friends some cookies and lemonade."

"MOM! For the last time, it's not a 'Karate Club', it's a FIGHT CLUB!"

"Whatever you say Snookums. Did you put the practice mats down? I don't want you and your little friends to get hurt while you practice your karate."

"Moooomm, you don't use practice mats in Fight Clubs. Can you leave us alone now?"

"But I brought cookies and lemonade for you guys." Korra's mother carried the snacks down the stairs and set the tray on top of the washing machine. "Ooh, is this that cute firebender boy you talk about in your dia-"

"JESUS CHRIST MOM! YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME! CAN YOU LEAVE NOW, SO WE CAN START?"

"Okay but don't forget to eat your cook-"

**"FOR FUCK'S SAKE MOM! WE DON'T NEED COOKIES AND LEMONADE!"**

**"KORRA KANNA KYA HAMA YUE YUGODA TUI LA WATERTRIBE!"**  A few of the boys chuckled in the background. "I WILL NOT TOLERATE THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE IN THIS HOUSEHOLD! YOU BETTER MARCH YOUR BUTT UPSTAIRS RIGHT THIS INSTANT AND PUT A DOLLAR IN THE SWEAR JAR OR I WILL GET MY BELT AND WHIP YOU IN FRONT OF ALL OF YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS!"

"But Moooommm..."

"UPSTAIRS!  **NOW!"**

"...I'll be right back guys..." Korra followed her mother upstairs, shame and embarrassment hanging over her head like a cloud.

_Yeah...that plan also went over like a lead zeppelin. I'm starting to run out of options here. I'll have another look at the texts tomorrow to see if I can come up with any new plans. If that fails, I guess I'm going to have to swallow my pride and...*sigh* ask my **mother**  for advice...  
_

_Avatar Korra, Signing off._

* * *

"Mom, can I ask you a question?" Dad had left for work early, so it was just Korra and her mom eating breakfast this morning.

"Sure dear." Korra pushed her Cheerios around with her spoon a bit before she continued. "What do you do if you, well, like someone?"

"Is it that firebending boy?"

"Yeah..."

"HAH! I knew it! your father owes me twenty bucks!"

"MOM! This is Serious! How can you and dad just sit there and make bets on my love life? So how do I get him to like me?"

"Have you tried telling him how you feel?"

"Say what now?" It can't be that simple.

"Just go up to the boy and tell him how you feel, he might feel the same way. Just trust me on this. Fifty bucks says he likes you."

"Mom has anyone ever told you that you have a gambling problem?"

"It's only a problem if you lose sweetie."

* * *

 _"Alright, I gotta come up with a plan."_  Korra was tapping her pen against her notebook, tuning out Tarrlok's lecture.  _"I should just come right out and tell him how I feel. But what if Asami's there? I might have to improvise..."_  Before she knew it, the bell rang, signalling the end of first period. Korra was about to walk through the door, but of course Tarrlok had to stop her.

"Korra, can you stay behind for a minute, I want to discuss something with you."

 _"Of all the days he had to pull this shit, it had to be today."_  Korra sat at the edge of her desk and waited for the other students to clear out, just like she did every other day Tarrlok decided he wanted to sexually harass her. Tarrlok closed the door behind the last student and turned to face her.

"I noticed you spacing out earlier. You weren't thinking about me, were you?"

"Why yes, I was just sitting here thinking about how manly and irresistible you are. What were you thinking about?" Korra shot back. Tarrlok smiled.

"You really want to know?"

"Nope, but you're going to tell me anyway." Tarrlok leaned against her desk, hands planted on both sides of her hips, trapping her there.

"I was thinking about how great it would feel if you let me fuck you against my desk right now."

Korra mumbled. "You probably know the answer to that question better than anyone..."

"What?"

"Nothing." Korra pushed Tarrlok back so she could stand up. "Can I go now?"

"C'mon Korra...we would be great together." Tarrlok grabbed her shoulder and started rubbing her collarbone with his thumb. Due to the obvious violation of her personal space, Korra did the only thing she could in that situation.

She clocked him in the face, hard. Tarrlok stumbled backwards and hit his tailbone against the edge of his desk.

"Jesus Christ, you hit hard." Tarrlok held a hand up to his left eye, It was already starting to turn purple.

"Sure do. You should have known better than to grab me."

"I can have you expelled for this."

"And the reason why I did it could get you fired." She stood there and let her words sink in for a bit. "I guess that makes us even now." Tarrlok let go of his left eye and straightened his coat.

"Fair enough, you can go now."

"About fucking time. Bye Asshole."

"Korra please. You have to call me 'Sifu'."

"Bye Sifu Asshole. Better luck next year." Tarrlok couldn't help but chuckle at her parting words.

"I guess I set myself up for that one."

* * *

 _"Come on fucking bell, hurry up and ring already."_  Waiting for school to end was driving Korra crazy. It took her all day, but she finally came up with a plan.  _"I'm just going to be blunt with him, no more tricks."_  The bell finally rang and Korra was out the door before anyone else even had a chance to leave their seats.

Korra was halfway to the parking lot by the time she saw Mako and Bolin standing next to his locker. "Here goes nothing...Hey Mako!"

"Hey Korra, you still coming to mov-" Mako was cut off as Korra pinned him to his locker with a kiss. She was not gentle.

Asami rounded the corner only to see Korra pinning her poor boyfriend to the wall, trying her hardest to eat his face. Before Asami could even open her mouth to yell at Korra, her feet were buried a few inches in the ground, preventing her from moving. Korra stopped kissing Mako and let him come up for air.

"Sorry Asami, but it had to be done. Now listen up Mako." She grabbed him by his collar. "I like you, and I know you like me."

"But-"

" **Don't**  interrupt me. I like you, and you like  **me.**  Got that?" Mako could only nod in response. "This weekend my parents are going to be out of town to celebrate their anniversary. You are going to pick me up on Friday at six o'clock, Capiche?"

"...O...kay."

"We are going to go to the movies and watch...I don't know. Bolin what movie is playing right now?"

"I don't know, The Expendables 2?"

"Well I wouldn't call that romantic, but it doesn't matter. We are going to be sucking face for most of the film anyway. After the movies, you are going to take me out to a nice dinner and we are going to have fun, Okay?"

Mako nodded again.

"When we are done eating we are going to go back to my place, and we are going to  **fuck**  like horny chihuahuas."

"Don't you think we should take it slow Korra?"

"Take it Slow? FUCK NO WE CAN'T TAKE IT SLOW! Do you have  **ANY**  idea how long I have been stuck in this hellhole? Years Mako. Fucking Years! I am having Sex with you Friday night. Don't argue, you have no say in the matter. I only need your dick to make this work and I will not be  **Denied!"**

"Good Lord, Korra."

"Don't fuck this up for me Mako! I'm serious." Korra dropped Mako and took a few moments to calm down before she released her earth bending hold on Asami. "Asami, Look. I'm sorry this whole thing had to happen. Will you forgive me?"

Asami bent down to brush the dirt off of her shoes. "Eh, I'm not mad at you." Korra had to raise an eyebrow at this.

"What, Really? You're not mad?"

"Nope." Asami leaned toward Korra to whisper in her ear. "To tell you the truth, I had a guy on the side. College Sophomore named Iroh. I'm really seeing him when I tell you guys I'm eating dinner with my father."

...

Huh.

* * *

"Oh my God Korra, that was amazing. You're amazing." Mako has been showering her with compliments since their little 'lovemaking' session ended a few minutes ago, and Korra was starting to get tired of it. She lifted Mako's arm off of her waist and climbed out of bed. Mako watched her as she walked across the room to pick up her towel and wrapped it around herself.

"Well I'm glad to at least one of us enjoyed all 30 seconds of it." She mumbled to herself. Then she spoke louder so Mako can hear her. "I'm going to go take a shower."

"You want some company?" God, he can't be serious. Korra took a deep breath to control her temper before she turned around to address him.

"Listen Mako, we need to talk." Korra sat on the edge of her bed and started to rub Mako's leg. "While I was lying in bed with you, I did a bit of thinking. I realized that I do in fact love you, I'm just not 'in love' with you. Please don't get too upset, we just want different things in life. I don't want you to blame yourself, it's not you, it's...who am I kidding. It's you. You're bad at sex Mako."

"What?!" Mako sputtered. "I'm not bad at sex!"

"Fucking shit Mako, Listen to yourself. Do you know what having sex with you feels like? It feels like thirty seconds of masturbating with one quarter of a Kit Kat Bar. It's that bad.

"I am not that small Korra!"

"You really are that small. I know I shouldn't complain about penis size, but this is just sad. Other guys with small dicks manage to find a work-around, but you have no technique Mako. No wonder Asami gave you up so easily. I bet you're one of those guys who doesn't have to work for anything, because all the girls just fall over you. Being hot doesn't make you a great lover Mako, you have to put some work into it."

"Alright already! I admit, I could use some work."

"Bad rhythm, no stamina whatsoever..."

"Just give me a chance to prove myself, okay?"

"Terrible Angle...no idea where any part of the female anatomy is..."

"Okay Korra, I get it. You can stop now."

"And your sex grunts sound like a God Damn Zebra. Who the hell grunts like a zebra during sex?" Mako just glared at her.

"...Maybe I should go."

"Good idea." Korra pointed over her shoulder. "I'm going to go in the bathroom, finish what you started, then I'm going to take a shower. I'm so frustrated right now I could punch someone. I'm not going to rush you or anything, but... it would probably be a good idea if you were gone by the time I'm done with my shower. Bye!"

Korra walked out of her bathroom 20 minutes later to find that Mako had already left. "Shit I really hope Miki was right. It still counts even if the sex was terrible, right?" Only one way to find out. Korra shrugged on her pajamas, changed the sheets on her bed and collapsed into it. She was asleep minutes later.

* * *

Korra opened her eyes the next morning and grinned. The purple walls were gone, along with the Twilight and Justin Bieber posters. Her old room was back, and it was just the way she left it. Korra rolled out of bed and let herself fall onto the carpet. The old worn out rug felt good against her skin and she shed a tear of happiness.

"Korra get up and get dressed!" It was Pema. Oh God Pema. "We have a guest!"

"I'll be out in a minute Pema." Korra choked back a sob of happiness as she changed into a fresh pair of clothes. When she finished, Korra walked to the dining room to have breakfast with the rest of the airbending family. When she walked through the threshold, she couldn't help but bristle at the sight of her visitor.

"Hello Korra. It's been so long since I have seen my favorite waterbending student so I decided to pay you a visit."

It was Katara.

Motherfucking Katara.

**How dare she?**

"Oh it's been a long time,  _Master Katara._ In fact, I haven't seen you in over  **20 FUCKING YEARS!** " Korra stomped across the room and floored Katara with a punch to the jaw. The airbending family were too speechless to react to the scene unfolding in front of them.

"TWENTY YEARS KATARA! THAT'S HOW LONG I WAS STUCK IN THAT FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL FANFIC. I HAVE DONE  **TERRIBLE**  THINGS WHILE I WAS STUCK THERE! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE SHOWING UP NOW OF ALL TIMES! OH HEY KORRA! LONG TIME NO SEE! FUCK YOU MASTER KATARA! JUST...  **FUCK YOU!"**  Korra walked to the front door and yanked it open. "Crusty old BITCH!" She slammed the door behind her. Leaving the bewildered family behind.

A couple of minutes passed before Tenzin finally spoke. "Mother, Are you alright?"

"I'm fine Tenzin." Katara mumbled from her place on the floor. "I kind of deserved that one."


	7. Lesbian Weirdness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra and Asami have a girls night out.

"Asami, what is this place?"

"What, you've never been to a nightclub before?"

"I've been to bars plenty of times but never night clubs." Korra crossed her arms over her chest and looked over the entrance to the night club nervously. The front of the building looked pretty plain, like the building was originally a warehouse that was converted. About twenty people were standing in line out front while a bouncer stood by the entrance. Omega, the name of the club was written in lights over the entrance. Korra didn't mind going for a drink, but she would rather drink in a quiet place than somewhere public where she can make an ass of herself.

"When the hell did you go to a bar?"

"Back in high school, a long time ago... I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay... Oh! I almost forgot, here's your I.D." Asami dug around in her purse for a few seconds and pulled out two fake I.D's. "I gotta admit, these are pretty good." She gave Korra her I.D. and she took a moment to look it over.

"Seriously Asami? How the hell do you even pronounce that name?"

"What, A'akuluujjusi? It's not that hard Korra."

"Like hell it is! What the fuck kind of name is A'akuluujjusi?"

"It's a watertribe name. It means Goddess or something like that. I had to come up with a name the counterfeiter can put on our I.D's and it just popped into my head."

"How the shit does a name like A'akuluujjusi just pop into your head? Screw this, what's the name on your I.D.?"

"Sumey."

"Pssssh, figures you would pick an easy name for yourself. Let's just get in line and get this over with." Both girls crossed the street to wait in line by the entrance. "You know, if we went to a regular bar we wouldn't be waiting in line right now."

"Yeah and if you wore something sexy like I told you to we would be in the club right now, so blame yourself for wearing normal clothes." Korra crossed her arms and pouted. She definitely felt inadequate standing next to Asami in her low cut dress and high heels. Damn dress even matched her eyes. A couple of minutes later they finally reached the front of the line.

"I.D's." The bouncer took their I.D's and carefully inspected them. "What the hell kind of name is that girl?"

Korra snatched her I.D. back. "It's a family name. You gonna let us in or not?"

"Calm down 'Kulu', we're supposed to be having fun tonight." Asami grabbed Korra's arm in an attempt to calm her down. The bouncer waved them through and they finally made it inside the club. "So 'Kulu," Asami chuckled. "What do you want to do first? They have karaoke rooms set aside over there, and there are dance floors on-"

"Fuck that." Korra interrupted her. "I'm getting drunk, and if you call me 'Kulu one more time I'm going to take this Goddess and shove it so far up your ass you'll be turning water into wine. Now let's go get wasted  _'Sumey'._ "

The girls weaved their way through the crowd and approached the bar counter. When Asami flagged down the bartender he walked over to take their order. "What'll it be, ladies?"

"Fire Whiskey."

"Give me that bottle of 151." Korra pointed at a bottle of rum with a red and white label. The bartender raised an eyebrow at the Avatar's request. Is this girl for real? "You sure about that? Do you have any idea how strong 151 is?"

"Don't care. Now hand it over."

"Don't say I didn't warn you kid." The bartender pushed the girls orders across the table and left to serve another customer after Asami paid for their drinks. Korra grabbed her bottle and bit the flame arrester off with her teeth before she took a swig.

"Well this is about to get interesting." Asami stared at Korra in awe as she took another long swig.

"Yeah, right. The only thing I plan on doing tonight is drinking this bottle, throwing up and passing out. Remind me to never agree on a 'girls night out' ever again."

"Whatever you say Korra."

* * *

_"Well fuck you too sun..."_  Korra opened her eyes the next morning and immediately shut them as an explosion of pain went off behind her eyes. The fact that the sun was beaming directly into her face didn't help her hangover at all.  _"Why do I always forget the hangover part? Jesus Christ I'm never drinking again, I feel like I'm going to die here!"_  Korra flipped over so she was facing away from the sun and smothered her face into her pillow.

_"God this pillow is fucking comfortable. Must be one of those memory foam pillows."_  Korra didn't know when the hell she got a new pillow but she didn't dwell on it. She hugged the pillow tighter and let out a sigh of contentment.  _"Kinda wish my pillow would stop breathing though."_

...

...

...Wait...

Korra felt the gears of her hung-over mind slowly put the pieces together before she realized that  ** _this was not a pillow she was snuggling into_**. She opened one eye warily to scope out her surroundings. Instead of the plain white cloth of her pillow, Korra was met with a foggy view of pale skin and a medium sized mound that closely resembled a bre-

_"NononononoNONONO! Too late..."_  The image was already burned into her mind and there was nothing she could do about it. She tried to jump out of bed but an arm snaked around her waist, pinning her to the bed. Another arm wrapped around her shoulders, trapping her face between  _Them._

"Look who's finally up." Asami grumbled. "You must have one hell of a hangover right now."

"MMWAT DA FUMMPH AMAMMI?!"

"Oh, sorry about that." Asami released Korra and she tumbled out of the bed. Korra quickly scrambled to her feet before she pointed an accusatory finger at Asami.

"I said What the FUCK Asami? Why are you here and why are you  **naked?** **"**

"Hey I'm not the only one naked here. You know, you're really adorable when you're angry."

"Stop trying to change the subject. Why the hell are you naked in my bed?"

"Hey. You're the one who invited me here."

"WHY DOES THIS SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME! IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE LIKES TO PUT ME IN THESE SITUATIONS TO FUCK WITH ME! Who am I going to wake up in bed with tomorrow?! A fucking Pig-Chicken?! Seriously why the fu...are...are you staring at my tits?"

"..."

"ASAMI! STOP EYE RAPING ME!"

"...You say something?"

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE ASAMI!"

"What? How can I not stare when all of you is just hanging out right in front of me?"

"Fuck you Asami."

"You ready for another round then?"

"GAH!" Korra grabbed fistfuls of her hair and pulled on it in frustration.

"KOOOOORRRAAAAAA! DADDY WANTS YOU TO GET OUT OF BED!"

"Oh shit!" Korra cursed. Asami covered herself up with the blanket as Korra grabbed a pillow, her real one, off of the bed and covered her body with it. Two seconds later her door was yanked open by Ikki.

"DADDY SAID YOU'RE LATE FOR AIRBENDING TRAIN-OOOOH ARE YOU PLAYING NAKED SLEEPOVER?! MOMMY AND DADDY LIKE TO PLAY THAT GAME TOO! EXCEPT MOMMY'S ON TOP OF DADDY AND THEY LIKE TO MAKE SPOOKY GHOST NOISES LIKE 'OOOOHHH' AND 'AAAAAAHH'! DO-YOU-MAKE-GHOST-NOISES-WHEN-YOU-PLAY-NAKED-SLEEPOVER-TOO?!"

Korra pinched the bridge of her nose. The hangover was starting to take a toll on her, and the hyperactive airbender wasn't helping at all. "Not now Ikki. Please get out."

"BUT YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION!"

"Ikki,  **Out.** " She sternly pointed at the door, making sure she didn't accidentally let go of the pillow covering her. Ikki pouted at Korra, but followed the teen's instructions and promptly left the room. When Ikki closed the door behind her, Korra sat cross-legged on the ground and sat the pillow in her lap so it was still covering her body. She put her head in her hands and let out a long sigh. She knew she wasn't going to like the answers to her next question.

"Asami...what happened last night?"

"You really don't remember?"

"No Asami. That's why I'm asking. I would like to know how we went from enjoying drinks at the bar to lezzing out in my bedroom. Just start from the beginning."

"Alright then." Asami let the blanket drop and got comfortable by laying on her side, propping her head up with her fist. "Well after you had a few swigs of your drink, you got a little...emotional."

* * *

_"Oh God Asami, it was terrible!" Korra bawled. "Do you have **any idea**  how terrible it was to be stuck in that fucking high school for 20 years? It was hell.  **Heeell.**  Nothing but shitty music on the radio everyday, fucking annoying ass teachers and motherfucking homework!"_

_"Korra what are you even talking about?"_

_"...I-I can't believe I killed her. Marilyn Suzuki. I just snapped her neck with no hesitation whatsoever. And you know what?" Korra burped and took another swig. "It felt good. **Really good.**  I don't think I was ever aroused as much as I was when her body went limp. Watching her silver hair get dirty from the gutter, seeing the light fade from her purple eyes...the entire experience was downright  **orgasmic.** " Korra flashed Asami a predatory grin._

_"...You're starting to scare me Korra."_

_"Hey did you know I fucked Mako?" She laughed. "He was totally bad at it!"_

_"..."_

* * *

"Yeah...that sounds like something I would do, What else happened?"

"After that we danced for a bit. Needless to say that didn't turn out well." Korra massaged her temples.

"What did I do?"

"You got into a fight with some random girl."

* * *

_"HEEEEY BETCH! YER FUCKIN' DEAD!" Korra pointed her rum hand at a random girl in the crowd and stalked towards her._

_"You talking to me?" Korra turned her head left and right, looking over the other people on the dance floor._

_"WELL I DON' SEE ANY UDDER SKINNY, BIG-HEADED BITCHES IN HERR SO YEAH I'M TALKIN' TO YOU!"_

_"Jesus Christ Korra, she didn't even do anything to you."_

_"I don't even know you lady."_

_"SHUDA FUUUUCK UP! YOU FUCKIN' TOTSIE ROOL POP IN A SKIRT! HOWMAN' LICKS'IT GONNA TAKE FER ME TO **KICK YER ASS?"**_

_"KORRA SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU!"_

_"DA FUCK SHE DID SALAMI! SHE TOOK MYRUM!"_

_"IT'S IN YOUR HAND YOU CRAZY BITCH!"_

_"Really?" Korra lifted her drinking hand and finally realized her bottle was there the whole time. "Well, YOU WER PERBABY DINKING IT! I'LL CUT JOO SKANK!" Korra smacked her rum bottle against a support beam. When the bottle didn't break, she slammed it against the beam again, with the same result. "Hole dup. I'll cut joo ina secon'." Korra smacked the bottle against the beam a few more times, but once again the bottle refused to break. Korra's drunken mind deduced that the bottle was fucking indestructible so she bent some rum out of her bottle and tried to freeze it instead._

_"Hwat the hell 'Alami? It won't freeze" Asami slapped her forehead and dragged it across her face._

_"Alcohol doesn't freeze you moron."_

_"Wellll, give me a knife Atari. Thess skank needs t'be cut."_

_"Korra she left a long time ago."_

_"Okie Doke." To Asami's surprise Korra was totally fine with that. "Wanna keep danshin?"_

_"I-I think that's enough for now."_

* * *

"I really tried to shank someone?"

"Yes, and you were very unsuccessful at it. After I convince the bouncer not to throw us out on our asses. We went into one of the Karaoke rooms, hoping you would simmer down a bit."

* * *

_"~Hello? Izit me yer lookin' fer? I can zee it in yer eyes, I can see it inyer smile, Yer all I eva wanted, An' my arms are oooopen wide~" Korra was laying on the coffee table, microphone in hand, baring her soul to her audience of one. "~Cuz joo know jus' hwat to say, An' joo know jus hwat to do, An I want'to tell you soo much,~" Korra dropped the microphone and let it roll off the edge of the coffee table._

_"~I love you.~" She whispered. The Avatar tried to hold back her tears, but failed miserably. She rolled off of the coffee table and started bawling on the floor. Asami leaned forward on the couch and stared at Korra over the edge of the coffee table._

_"Um...Korra? You alright?"_

_"It's jus so SA-AA-AAD 'Sami. Who hurt Lionel Ricky?"_

_"It's just a song Korra."_

_"WHO BROKE YER HEART LINEL!"_

_"Aren't you going to get up Korra?"_

_"Nuooo! I'm too sad." Asami was about to say something else but a knock at the door interrupted her. She left Korra on the floor and went to answer it. It was the waitress with Asami's order of Nachos._

_"Thank you." Asami grabbed the plate and tipped the waitress. "Keep the change." Asami closed the door and set the plate down on the coffee table. "Hey Korra, guess what?"_

_"Leave me alone 'Sami. I'm so sad I can die." Korra whispered._

_"The nachos are here."_

_"...Really?"_

_"Yeah, Really. How about you get up and eat while I pick the next song?"_

_"Okay." Just like a rubber band, Korra snapped out of her sour mood and sat up to eat some nachos._

_"Hey Korra what song should-"_

_"OH MY GOD! ASAMI! OH MY GOD!" Korra grabbed a fistful of nachos and stuffed her face in it. "ASAMI. ASAMI. OH MY GOD. ASAMI. OH. MY. GOD. ASAMI. HOLY SHiiiT THESE NACHOS ARE DElishOUS!"_

_"Hey save some for me won't you?"_

_"I COULD HAVE SEX WIT DEEZ NACHOS RIGHT NOW ASAMI! IZ SO GOOD!"_

_"Whatever, I'll just order my own nachos then."_

_"MMMMM...oh yeah...right there...yer soo good..."_

_"What are you-FUCKING SHIT KORRA!"_

_"What? I told-I told ya I was goin' have sex with deez nachos. Den sex happened. Why are you surpriz?" She ignored Asami's look of horror as she continued to smother the cheese and jalapenos all over her neck and the front of her shirt. Before she could smear the cheese any lower Asami grabbed her hand and stopped her._

_"God it's like babysitting a horny five year old. Why the hell did I let you order the rum?" Asami pulled Korra to her feet. "C'mon let's go to the restroom and clean you up."_

* * *

"Okay, you already established the fact that I tend to act a little extreme when I have a liter of 151 in me. So when did the gay happen?"

"Is it really necessary to be so blunt, Korra?"

"Fine. When did my drunken ass decide that she wanted to have sexual intercourse with another woman?"

"When I was cleaning you off in the restroom."

* * *

_"Hold still." Asami was scrubbing the front of Korra's shirt with a paper towel. She had been at it for ten minutes and she wasn't very successful at getting the stains out. "What was I thinking? Taking you here was a bad idea."_

_"Doon't say that, Asami. It was fun. I had fun. Yeah." Now that her bottle of 151 was gone, Korra was starting to sober up a little, but she still had a way to go. "Don't be mad 'Sami. Iz my fault I ruined everything. Loo'kat me." Korra stared at herself in the mirror. Her hair was messed up, she had tear stains on her cheeks and he neck and shirt were covered in nacho cheese. "I look hideous."_

_"C'mon Korra, you're not hideous. You're beautiful." Asami threw away the dirty paper towel and wet another one. She turned Korra around and started to wipe the cheese off of her face. "You are a strong person who doesn't take crap from anyone. You're not afraid to be yourself around other people and I admire you for that." She reached out to wipe off Korra's neck but a hand stopped her._

_"You really dink that?" She slurred. Her eyes were bloodshot and she could barely stand, but Asami has never seen Korra look as serious as she did in that moment._

_"Yeah.." She nodded. "I really think that."_

_Before Asami could react, Korra pushed her against the wall of the bathroom and pinned her there with a kiss. Asami knew Korra was drunk and would definitely regret her actions the next morning. But she also knew that this would probably be the only chance she would ever have with Korra, so she swallowed her guilt. Asami wrapped her arms around Korra's waist and returned the kiss._

* * *

"Okay I'm gonna stop you there. I can figure the rest out."

"Yeah the rest was kind of a blur to me too. One thing I gotta say though is that you were definitely right about the nachos being delicious."

"Why would you even point that out?"

"Wait for it..." It took Korra a few seconds to realize what she was hinting at. When it finally clicked, Korra's ears started to burn in embarrassment as she tried to shake the mental pictures of her and Asami doing terrible things with food out of her head.

"God I think I'm going to throw up." She started to massage her temples again the relieve the pain.

"Korra...are we going to be okay?" Korra couldn't work up the courage to look Asami in the eyes.

"Asami, I really don't know what we are right now. This whole situation is a little overwhelming."

"Are you mad at me?"

"Christ, I don't know. I think it's best if you just leave for now. I want to be alone for a bit." Korra stared at the floor in silence as Asami gathered her clothes and put them on. After Asami left it took Korra another ten minutes before she worked up the energy to get off of the floor and get dressed herself. When she walked into the kitchen, Tenzin was there waiting for her.

"Mornin' Tenzin. Is Asami still here?"

"It's afternoon Korra and she already left."

"Alright then." Korra pulled a glass out of the cabinet and filled it up with water from the sink. when she sat down, Tenzin took the seat across from her.

"Korra, we need to talk."

"About what." Tenzin took a moment to compose himself before he continued.

"Korra, I know that you are a young woman and you're capable of making decisions by yourself. I also know I have no say in any of your relationships and if you decide that you want to see another woman, than I won't judge you."

"Wait, what?"

"But you have to realize that you are the Avatar and the whole city is watching you, you need to learn to keep your private affairs priv-"

"Hold up Tenzin. What makes you think that I'm dating another woman?"

"Well for one, Asami just walked out of your room. And there's this as well." Tenzin pulled out the morning paper and handed it to Korra. When Korra looked at the Bold words and the picture taking up half of the front page, she let out a curse.

"Fuck Shit Bitch GOD DAMMIT!" There was a giant, color picture of Asami pinning Korra to the side wall of the night club. The newspaper got an amazing angle of Korra feeling the other girl up while Asami was licking Nacho cheese off of her neck.  **"Avatar Korra: Bender of More than the Elements?"**  was written in large print over the picture.

So much for keeping things on the down-low.

"Well no one can accuse The Republic City Times of falling behind on the latest news stories. Their reporters are surprisingly competent."

"Shut up, Tenzin."

"I warned you when you first got here that the whole city would be watching you. Take this experience as an important lesson and learn to keep your personal matters to yourself."

"So Tenzin, is it true that Pema likes to top?"

"...I'll be quiet now."

* * *

"Wow, you look like shit."

"Not now Lin." Korra was hunched over a bowl on noodles, hoping no one would notice her sitting in the corner of Narook's. Ever since the story about her and Asami got out last week, the reporters have been relentless.

"Are you going to invite me to sit or what?"

"You sure you want that? There might be stories in the paper tomorrow letting the whole world know that I'm fucking the Chief of Police."

"You think I give a damn about what the papers write about me?" Lin pulled a chair out and sat down opposite the Avatar. "That bad huh?"

"A forty year old man offered me 500 Yuans if I gave him a picture of me and my 'girlfriend' showering together."

"Ouch."

"What do you want Lin?" Korra really wanted Lin to get to the point so she can eat her lukewarm noodles in peace.

"Look I know we haven't gotten along in the past." Lin crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. "But I know how difficult things can be for someone who just came out of the closet. So I just wanted to let you know that if you needed any help, you can always come to me."

Korra studied Lin for a second. "Huh."

"Huh what?"

"Oh nothing. It's just that I never pegged you for the type is all. But it kinda makes sense now that I think about it."

"Well you never figured it out until now because I know better than to go around, dry-humping people in alleyways."

"Okay, I deserved that. Are you going to leave me alone now?"

"You want my help or not, kid?"

"That really won't be necessary." Korra twirled her cold noodles around her chopsticks. "I'm not a lesbian. The whole thing happened because I thought it would be fun to drink a whole bottle of 151."

"How the hell did you even get into that club anyway?"

"Fake I.D." Lin held out her hand. "What?"

"Hand it over."

"C'mon Lin.."

"I could just take you down to the station."

"Fine, be that way." Korra fished the I.D. out of her pocket and tossed it across the table. Lin picked it up and studied it. Korra watched her eyes widen when she read the name written on the I.D.

"Don't ask."

"Whatever you say. I saw your little friend the other day and she looked like shit too. Have you even talked to her since it happened?" Korra shook her head. "You really should. She probably thinks you hate her."

"I want to, but it's just so  _awkward..."_

"Listen up kid. I've been around the block a few times and one thing I learned is that real friends are hard to come by. You shouldn't let lesbian awkwardness get in the way of that, or you'll regret it."

"Fine, I'll talk to her. You gonna lecture me on any other subjects now?"

"Nah, I'll save that for the next time you fuck up. Enjoy your meal." Lin stood up and left Korra alone in the restaurant, glaring coldly at the small audience that gathered since she sat down to talk to the Avatar.

Korra finished her noodles and threw a few yuans on the table to pay for the meal. She needed to find a payphone fast and take care of business.

* * *

"Oh hey, Asami, glad you could, well, make it." Korra got off of the park bench to greet her.

"Hey Korra." Asami held out her arms for a hug the same time Korra held her hand out for a handshake. When Korra's hand bumped into Asami's stomach they just fidgeted until Korra's arms when up for a hug and Asami held out her hand instead. Both girls quickly realized that this wasn't going to work so they dropped the greeting altogether and just stared at each other awkwardly.

"Okay, this is really weird." Korra rubbed the back of her neck nervously. She really wish she had a drink right now, but she remembered that drinking had gotten herself in this mess in the first place, so she pushed the thought from her mind. "We should probably sit." Both girls took their seat and gazed at the pond for a minute while Korra gathered her thoughts.

"It's been a while since we've seen each other. How are you doing Asami?"

"I can't stop thinking about you Korra."

"Um..." Way to elevate small talk to medium talk, Asami. "I really have no response to that."

"I've been feeling this way for a while. It was just eating away at me. A few weeks back I made a couple of friends while I was at the bar. We were just talking over drinks when the subject of you came up."

"Asami, I don't know why you're telling me this."

"Let me finish. I don't know how but I let it slip that I had a crush on you. They seemed really happy to hear that so they convinced me to get closer to you. They thought I really had a chance at it. And believe it or not, they came up with a nickname for us."

"Oh for fuck's sake Asami..." Korra should have known. The fangirls had gotten to her friend. "Let me guess, Korrasami?"

"Well, yeah. How did you know?"

"Asami, those girls aren't your friends. They're crazy fangirls who write porn about me."

"...Really? I should hit them up for porn sometimes."

"You're not making me feel any better about this. Can we please get back on topic now?"

"Sure."

"Good. You know Asami, I don't know why, but what you said to me at the club was probably the most sincere thing anyone has ever said to me. That's probably why I went gay for you for a few hours. I do like you a lot, just not in that way. I know there really is no excuse for me leading you on like that and I'm just hoping you will forgive me someday and we can go back to being friends. So...what do you say?"

"Eh I don't know...it's going to be pretty hard for me to get over you."

"Why?"

"Well you are a  _very generous_ lover Korra. I could barely feel my legs when we were done."

"Oh God..."

"And your tongue is Amazing. You would make a wonderful Lesbian, Korra."

"Please stop."

"Alright, alright. We can still be friends."

"Good." Korra stood up and stretched her arms over her head. "Because I'm tired of talking about my feelings, it just ain't natural. I need to fight someone to balance it out now." Asami stood up as well and mimicked Korra's pose.

"I'm glad we cleared the air too. You heading out now?"

"Yeah, I had Tenzin arrange a press conference tomorrow morning so I better turn in early."

"I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Bye Asami."

* * *

"Good morning Republic City. I'm glad you can make it." Korra paused as she waited for the crowd of reporters to quiet down. "All of you are probably wondering why I called you here today. Due to recent events, I feel the need to tell the city exactly what kind of person I am, so I will just start with the basics. My name is Korra, I am the daughter of Tonraq and Senna of the Southern Water tribe. I was born March 14, 153 and when I was four, I learned I was the Avatar."

"AVATAR KORRA! AVATAR KORRA!" A reporter interrupted her.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Republic City, already knows about where you were born and the fact that you are the Avatar. So why did you call us here."

"Like I said. I wanted to tell Republic City about myself. Now that we covered the basics, I would like to tell you a few things that some people probably don't know about me. One of my favorite Hobbies is reading comic books and my favorite comic series ever is The Blue Spirit. My favorite food is Nachos and I am Allergic to Onions. There are many things I like and dislike. However," Korra took a second to pause and look over the crowd. "Like every other heterosexual female with a healthy sex drive, I am a huge fan of Penis." The only sound that could be heard in the area was the slapping sound of Tenzin hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand.

"Dick, Johnson, Shlong, etc. There are many names that people like to give to the penis. Penises also come in all shapes and sizes. You have your long ones, short ones, vein-y ones. You have your narrow penises, your straight ones, some curve to the side a bit, you have the growers and some penises are as thick as soda cans. And like every other heterosexual female I have preferences."

"For example, I am a big fan of the, well, big penises. I really don't have a preference when it comes to length, as long as it has a nice thickness." Korra paused and bit her lower lip a bit. "Then I am perfectly happy. There are also dicks that I really don't care for. The small, narrow sickly looking penises with small shriveled up balls are the ones that I simply don't like. Now I'm not going to go into detail about the bad penises by mentioning the names of any pro-bending captains who's team mascot is a Fire Ferret, I'm just trying to point out what kind of dick I like to see on my sexual partners."

"Tenzin, are we really going to let her continue?" Tarrlok whispered.

"The iceberg has already ripped a hole in the ship Tarrlok, the only thing we can do now is watch it sink."

"AVATAR KORRA!"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Why do you feel the need to describe what kind of penis you prefer?"

"That is an excellent question. I had to do this because the city is convinced that I am a fan of Vagina. I am not going to lie to you. I did have sexual relations with a Miss Asami Sato. It only happened once while I was under the influence of alcohol. Since then, I have been harassed constantly and I wanted to put an end to it. It is regretful that I had to set things straight in such a public manner but it had to be done. People, I am not a Lesbian. It only happened once, and I'm pretty sure half of the women here have had similar experiences in the past and the other half are nothing but prudes. I got drunk, and I had sex with another woman, you guys need to shut up about the whole thing and deal with it."

"Avatar Korra! What about your relationship with Asami Sato?"

"Strictly platonic. Now that we have that out of the way, I have another announcement to make. Due to the stress of recent events, I will be taking a temporary leave of absence. Quite frankly, this whole city is fucking nuts and every single one of you has driven me to drinking. I realize now that I am an alcoholic, so I will be leaving tomorrow morning and admitting myself into a rehabilitation center that will not be named to recover. Even though I am the Avatar, who faces the tough task of bringing balance to the world, people tend to forget that I am human and therefore, imperfect. I have made many mistakes and now I'm trying my hardest to redeem myself, so I can become the Avatar that Republic City truly deserves. All I ask is for you to please respect my privacy and wish me luck on my road to recovery. That is all."

 


	8. Korra's Got A Daughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra returns from rehab with a little surprise in tow.

"Daddy is Korra here yet?"

"No Ikki." Tenzin groaned. It was probably the twentieth time his daughter has asked him that question in the last five minutes. A month after Korra admitted herself into rehab, she was finally returning to Republic City. Tenzin's and his family were waiting at the docks to welcome her home.

Another 15 minutes passed by before Korra's boat pulled into the harbor. The Airbender children started to cheer when they saw Korra waving at them from the port side of the ship. A few minutes later the boat was docked and passengers started to shuffle off of the boat. Korra only managed to make it two steps onto solid ground before she was tackled to the ground by Tenzin's children.

"Korra!"

"Hey guys. I'm happy to see you and everything, but I can hardly breathe." She clumsily untangled herself from the dog pile but was unable to shake Meelo off of her left calf, so she dragged him along with her. "Hi Tenzin, hey Pema. It's good to see you both." Pema hugged Korra while Tenzin patted her on the shoulder.

"You look good Korra. Did rehab help you at all?" Korra visibly flinched at Tenzin's question.

"Um...YEAH it was great!" Korra pried Meelo off of her leg. "For the two days I was there." She grumbled under her breath. Unfortunately, Tenzin heard her.

"What?! You were supposed to stay there the whole time Korra! What happened?" Tenzin's face was starting to turn red.

"I couldn't take being there okay?!" Korra crossed her arms and pouted. "No one told me that Rehab was going to be BORING! All we did was sit around and talk about our 'feelings.' I thought rehab was where all the fun celebrities went to hang out and have fun. So I checked myself out and had a little vacation."

"Are you dense? Rehab is not supposed to be fun, you go there to deal with your addiction! And what the FUCK did you do with the money I gave you!"

"Tenzin! Not in front of the children!" Pema grabbed his arm to calm him down, the children weren't used to seeing their father act this angry. Korra held up her hands in a small gesture of surrender.

"Maybe we should stop for lunch, we have a lot to talk about." Before Tenzin could protest, they were interrupted by a shout from behind them.

"MOMMY!" A little girl, no older than five, made a beeline for Korra and latched herself onto her waist. The small child wiped tears from her face and bawled, "I couldn't find you and I was scared!"

Tenzin and Pema were speechless. "Yeah I should probably explain this as well."

* * *

"What do you mean, she's your daughter?!"

"Exactly what I said. She's my daughter."

"How is that even possible. How can you have a five year old daughter when you have only been gone a month?"

"I asked a fan girl on the boat ride back. She said that there is this unspoken rule that if a female character leaves the city for an extended period of time, then she's supposed to come back with a kid."

"That doesn't even make sense Korra."

"Neither does 90% of the fanfiction written about me." Korra took a bite out of her sandwich. "I'm telling you Tenzin, fan girls are  _ **weird**."_

Pema chose now to speak up. "Even though the girl is practically a miniature version of you, are you sure she's your daughter?"

"No idea. I don't remember popping her out or anything, but she looks and acts exactly like me."

"So...what's her name?"

"I've been calling her Korra Jr."

Tenzin scoffed. "Of course you would pick a name like that."

Korra took another bite and talked around the food in her mouth. "What's wrong with Korra Jr.? You don't really expect me to pick another watertribe name, do you? Korra Jr. is a lot easier to remember than Akkilokipok or Qailertetang." She turned to the table next to them where the children were playing with their noodles. " Hey Korra Jr., come over here."

"But that's not my name mommy."

"Yeah whatever. Korra Jr. come here, the nice lady wants to talk to you." The girl walked over to Korra and sat in her lap.

"Hey sweetie." Pema leaned forward and gave the small girl her warmest smile. "Do you know where your parents are?"

"Mommy's right here." Korra Jr. wrapped her arms around her 'Mother.' "I don't know where daddy is." Tenzin asked her the next question.

"Are you sure she is your mother, little girl?" The child puffed out her cheeks in frustration.

"I'm not a little girl, old man. And she is my mommy so you gotta deal with it!"

Jesus Christ she really was her daughter.

Korra let out a snort of laughter at her antics. "That's my girl!" She cupped her chin in her hand and furrowed her eyebrows. "...I think?"

Tenzin pinched the bridge of his nose. "Korra, where did you even find this girl?"

"Well after I checked out of rehab I took the train to this place just outside of Ba Sing Se. Some guy I met at the train station called it...what was the name? Oh yeah, Las Vegas, it was pretty awesome." Tenzin could feel a headache coming on.

"Korra, please tell me you didn't gamble away all of my money..."

"Nope, but I came pretty close though. Lost most of it the first week playing the slot machines, but..." Korra pulled out a fat stack of bills and tossed it on the table. "I'm a pro at Poker and Blackjack. Got banned from two casinos because they thought I was counting cards. I made a lot more than that stack there, but you know how fast money can disappear in Vegas. Hotel suites and Filet Mignon don't pay for themselves." She lifted Korra Jr. off of her lap and nudged her toward the kid's table. "Go finish your noodles kid."

"Okay mommy."

"So where did you find the girl?" Pema asked her.

"Hotel lobby, during my last week there. Poor kid was bawling her eyes out. As soon as she saw me she tackled me and started calling me 'Mommy.'"

"And you just TOOK HER?!" Tenzin bit out.

"Well what else was I supposed to do? I was in a city I've never been to before, I had a crying girl latched onto my waist, and if I so much as suggested dropping the brat off at the police station, she would cry and start yelling 'MOMMY DOESN'T WANT ME ANYMORE! PLEASE DON'T GO MOMMY!' Soo...I took her with me."

"Korra, you can't just take a child off of the street-"

"Hotel Lobby."

"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! You just can't take a child home with you. Her real parents are probably worried sick, and for good reason. You practically kidnapped the poor girl."

"Well according to the Korra Jr. I am her mom."

"Well how do you think the father would feel, knowing that his daughter is missing?"

"How the fuck should I know? I don't even know the guy."

Tenzin had to fight back the irresistible urge to slam his head on the table.  _"Why didn't I send her ass back to the Southern Watertribe when I had the chance?"_  At this rate, Korra was going to give Tenzin an ulcer. He sat there in silence for a few moments trying to think things over. Finally he spoke up.

"Seriously Korra, how in the world do you get yourself into these situations?"

"I don't know. The Universe just likes to mess with me. Who knows what I'll be doing in the next chapter."

"Chapter? What are you talking about?"

"Don't worry about it, it's a fanfiction thing. And Tenzin, don't stress yourself out, I got a plan."

"Really." It was more a statement than a question.

"Yep." She left the table and scooped Korra Jr. up into her arms. "First things first. We are going to take a little trip to the hospital."

"Alright, I'll let you handle this. Just...Please Korra, don't go overboard. We don't want a repeat of last month."

* * *

"Okay, I just have to ask. Miss...?"

"Oh you can just call me Korra."

"Alright Miss, um, Korra. Are you on drugs right now?" Dr. Naomi had her share of idiotic patients in the past, but nothing quite like this. She can deal with patients pretending to be sick so they can get medicinal marijuana, or the occasional moron who managed to set himself on fire because he wanted to light his own farts. But this woman standing in front of her was obviously special.

"No I'm not on drugs. What makes you think that?"

Dr. Naomi looked at Korra Jr. spinning around on top of the doctor's stool. "Well you walked into my office, with a kid that looks exactly like you-"

"Not exactly, her eyes are a different color."

"Whatever. You walk into my office with a kid and ask me to perform a Maternity test."

"What's so crazy about that?"

"I'm not about to waste my time performing a maternity test. Either you gave birth to the kid or you didn't."

"Yeah that's what I'm trying to find out."

"Okay, this shouldn't be too hard to figure out." The doctor tapped her pen against her clipboard. She doesn't know why she even bothers. "Have you ever had sexual intercourse in the past?"

"Yeah plenty of times. A few times with Tarrlok...That one time with Mako...Oh! And there was Asami too. But they really shouldn't count because Tarrlok and Mako happened in the High School universe and Asami's a girl."

"Wait...What?"

"Alternate Universes' don't count."

"Like hell they don't. You still had sex and ended up with a kid. How could you not know if she is your child?" Dr. Naomi clicked her pen in frustration.

Korra shrugged her shoulders. "Hey it could happen."

"Really, how?"

"Well I could have given birth years ago, but I ended up in a terrible accident that caused me to lose my memory. Then one day while livin' it up in Vegas, I finally find my daughter and we are reunited at last."

"Have you experienced any symptoms of amnesia?" The doctor had a feeling she already knew the answer, but she had to ask.

"Does getting shit-faced count? I started drinking on the first of this month and didn't sober up until the 29th. Who knows what happened to me during that time."

"..."

"..."

"...Please leave."

"Fine be that way." She grabbed Korra Jr.'s hand and walked out of the doctor's office. What the hell was she supposed to do now? If a doctor wouldn't do the test who else did she have to turn to?

"Where are we going now Mommy?" Korra held on to her hand and crossed the street. They paused in front of a small shop and Korra turned to look at her.

"Hey Brat, want some ice cream?" Korra Jr. nodded eagerly and practically dragged her into the shop. After Korra paid for her ice cream cone they sat down by the front window of the shop. "Korra Jr. what do you say?"

"That's not my name mommy." Korra ignored her.

"What do you say when someone buys you a gift?"

"Thank you mommy."

"You're welcome kid." She stared out the window while her daughter ate.  _"Where else can I get a maternity test done? I have a feeling any other doctor I visit would just laugh at me, so that's definitely out."_ She let her eyes wonder for a while until a billboard across the street caught her eye. She let out a small smile as a new plan began to formulate in her head.  _"Fuck yeah, that will work perfectly. Why didn't I think of this sooner?"_

"Hurry up and finish your ice cream. We have one more stop to make."

* * *

It was almost six o'clock and Tenzin was starting to worry.  _"She should have been back by now. Knowing Korra she probably lost the poor girl."_  Tenzin headed toward the shack the White Lotus sentries used as a break room.  _"Maybe one of the sentries knows where she is."_  When Tenzin walked in, five of the guards were sitting around the radio giving the small device their undivided attention. After a moment one of them finally noticed Tenzin standing behind them and stood up to greet him.

"Good evening Master Tenzin. How may I help you?"

"Has Korra come back from the city yet? I haven't seen her all day."

"No Sir."

"In that case, I want you to take some men into the city and look for her. I'm starting to get worried."

"Sir," The sentry scratched the back of his head. "We kinda...well we already know where Avatar Korra is."

"What?! How?"

"You should take a seat, Master Tenzin. The show's about to come back from commercial." Some of the guards moved aside to make room for Tenzin while another sentry turned up the radio.

_**"Welcome back to the Maury show. If you are just tuning in now, I must tell you, we have an interesting guest here tonight. Avatar Korra everyone!"** _

_**"Hello."** _

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me. I tell her not to go overboard, and she's on the damn radio telling everyone her business." Tenzin should have known better than to let Korra handle things by herself.

**_"So you're telling me that you found Korra Jr. while you were vacationing in Las Vegas?"_ **

**_"That's right Maury."_ **

**_"Well we have Korra Jr. sitting in the other room right now and I gotta say, she looks exactly like you. You really don't know if she is your daughter?"_ **

**_"I really don't know. Sure she looks like me but look at her eyes, they're a different color. It's just...I don't want to spend my whole life wondering if I am taking care of someone else's kid."_ **

**_"HONEY, YOU THE BABY MAMA SO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!"_ **

**_"HEY *BLEEP* YOU! YOU DON'T KNOW ME!"_ **

**_"OOOOOHHHHH!"_ **

**_"OH *BLEEP*!"_ **

Tenzin put his head in his hands as he continued to listen to Korra hurl insults at the audience.

**_"CALL ME A SLUT AGAIN! I *BLEEP*ING DARE YOU! SAY IT AGAIN AND I WILL JUMP ACROSS THIS STAGE AND RIP YOUR THROAT OUT THROUGH YOUR *BLEEP*HOLE!"_ **

**_"Avatar Korra, please calm down."_ **

**_"No I'm not going to calm down! That *Bleep* has no business telling me how to raise my child! Allegedly."_ **

**_"Well we will soon find out if she really is your child in the first ever maternity test on The Maury Show. THE RESULTS ARE IN!"_ **

Tenzin plopped his head down on the table as the host waited for the cheers from the audience to die down.

**_"In the case of 5 year old Korra Jr...Korra you ARE the Mother!"_ **

**_"OOOOOOHHHHH!"_ **

**_"*BLEEP*"_ **

**_"HOLY *BLEEP*!"_ **

**_"Well damn, this certainly complicates things. *Bleep* my parents are gonna kill me."_ **

**_"TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILD HOME GIRL!"_ **

**_"*BLEEP* OFF! I WAS GONNA DO THAT ANY-"_ **

The White Lotus sentries groaned in disappointment as Tenzin shut off the radio. "I suggest all of you get back to work." Tenzin stood up and straightened his robes.

"One more thing. If I try to strangle Korra when she returns, please stop me. I don't think I will be around long enough to train the next Avatar."

 


	9. Mako's Got A Daughter Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avatar Korra's guide to getting your man to pay child support.

_"Sheeeiiiitt, I could spend the rest of my life here." Korra finished off her can of beer, crushed it in her hands and tossed it over her shoulder to join the pile. She rested her back against the tree trunk and let out a contented sigh. She was sitting near a large river with her fishing pole propped up against a rock next to her. If she really wanted to, she could just waterbend some fish out of the river and have dinner in a matter of minutes, but decided not to. There was no reason to rush, plus it felt nice to do things the old-fashioned way for once._

_Korra grabbed another beer from her six pack and cracked it open. After a long sip, Korra just closed her eyes and relished the feeling of being truly alone for once. Taking a vacation in Vegas was nice, but being alone in a crowd and being miles away from another human being were two completely different things. Out here she didn't have to worry about Pro-Bending practice, Tarrlok's Task Force and most of all, she didn't have to worry about Amon's crazy ass._

_Quite frankly, Korra decided that being alone was the shit. She cradled her beer in both hands while she thought about all the wonderful things you can do when you are alone. Picking your nose without getting any weird looks, lazing around the house all day in your pajamas, the possibilities were endless. Korra grinned when she thought of the most important perk of having no one else around._

_Walking around bare-assed without a care in the world._

_Korra set her beer down next to her fishing pole and pulled her boots off. The rest of her clothes quickly joined her boots as she ran toward the river. She let out a squeal of delight as the cool water surrounded her. When she resurfaced, Korra floated on her back and watched the clouds slowly creep across the sky. As Korra slowly drifted downriver, she noticed something strange. The water was starting to get warmer._

_"What the hell? Am I near a hot spring or something?" Korra stopped floating on her back and started to swim up river toward her clothes. "That's weird, it wasn't this warm over here a minute ago." It took her a couple of seconds, but she quickly realized what was happening and slapped her forehead in frustration._

_Nice dream? Check._

_Rudely interrupted by warm water? Another check._

_Yep, that sounds about right._

_"God Dammit."_

* * *

"Mommy, wake up." Korra Jr. stood next to the bed and shook her mother until she finally regained consciousness. "I had an accident..."

"Yeah, I noticed." The 'accident' was currently covering the entire right side of Korra's body. Her nose scrunched up in disgust when the smell finally hit her. Korra was about to curse, but she held onto the profanity when she noticed her daughter holding back tears. Instead, she sat up and held her arms out.

"Come here, kid." Korra Jr. walked into her mother's arms. "I'm not mad at you. Now let's go take a bath, we can't walk around smelling like pee forever." Korra grabbed a couple of towels and carried her daughter down the hall to the bathroom. She took a moment to examine herself in the mirror while the bathtub filled up with water.

Korra let out a low whistle as she poked the purplish bruises that adorned her neck. For an old man, Tenzin had one hell of a grip. The bruises would be gone in a couple of days, so Korra didn't worry about it too much.

This wasn't the first time she was choked out by one of her bending teachers after all.

Korra reached down and turned off the bathtub's faucet. "Let's hurry up and get clean Korra Jr., we're going to go meet mommy's friends today." Her daughter crossed her arms and pouted.

"That's not my name mommy."

"Hey, don't give me that look. Now get in the tub."

* * *

"Man my friends are going to shit bricks when they meet you."

"What does 'shit bricks' mean?"

"Um...forget I said anything. Shit, I really need to stop cussing in front of you. Fuck I did it again."

"What does fu-"

"Hey! Don't say that. It's a bad word and little kids shouldn't say it. Just color okay?" Korra took another sip of her drink as she watched her daughter doodle in her new coloring book. They had arrived at the book store ahead of schedule so Korra's friends would be here any minute.

"Can I have some of your soda?"

"Sorry kid." Korra took another sip. "Mommy put rum in her drink."

"What's that?"

"Wow you are full of questions today, aren't you? It's a drink for adults and you can't have any until you're 21."

"Are you 21 Mommy?"

"Sweetie," Korra reached across the table to ruffle her daughter's hair. "Mommy's the Avatar, she can drink whatever the hell she wants."

"Okay Mommy." Korra looked out the window and saw Asami's satomobile park across the street.

"Hey look, there's one of my friends right now." Korra stood up to greet Asami at the entrance.

"Korra! It's good to see you." Asami rushed Korra and smothered her in a bear hug. Korra stiffened for a few seconds before she awkwardly returned the hug.

"Yeah...it's good to see you too."

"How long has it been, a month?"

"Yep."

"Well I'm glad you're back. Things have been dull since you left." Asami squeezed Korra a little tighter. "So how was rehab?"

"Asami?"

"Yeah, Korra?"

"You can let me go now."

"Oh! Um, sorry about that."

"Nah it's alright. Take a seat, I want you to meet someone." Korra slid into the booth next to her daughter.

"Aww, she's adorable. You never told me you had a little sister. What's your name?"

"My nam-"

"Korra Jr." Asami raised an eyebrow.

"...Why would your parent's name you both Korra?" Asami watched Korra shift around in her seat awkwardly.

"She's not my little sister Asami."

"So she's..."

"Yep."

"Your daughter?! What the hell Korra?!" The Avatar reached across the table to cover her friends mouth. They were starting to get looks from the other customers.

"For heaven's sake Asami, keep it down!" Korra hissed. She let go of Asami so she could talk.

"Sorry, I was just a little surprised." Asami ran a hand though her hair and studied the child. "You know, her eyes remind me of someone, just can't put my finger on it. So who's the-"

"DADDY!" Korra Jr. hopped on top of the table to run across the bookstore. When she got to the entrance, Korra Jr. threw her arms around a man and started squealing. "I FOUND YOU!"

When Korra finally looked at the man her daughter was hugging, she couldn't hold back her laughter. Of course it had to be him. The fanfic writers never showed mercy on Korra in the past, why would they start now?

Korra continued to laugh as Mako stood there next to Bolin, eyes as wide as saucers, wondering why the hell he was getting smothered by a small child.

* * *

"HOW THE HELL IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!" Mako stormed out of the bookstore, the rest of the group in tow. "HOW DO YOU LEAVE TOWN FOR A MONTH AND COME BACK WITH A 5 YEAR OLD KID?!"

"Hey don't look at me like that. I'm just as confused about the whole thing as you are. So are you gonna help me raise her or not?"

"Raise her? How could I be the father if we never even FUCKED BEFORE?!"

"Hey guys! Not in front of the kid okay?" Bolin was crouched down next to Korra Jr., trying his best to cover her ears. "Parent's shouldn't argue in front of their kid, you can really mess them up!"

"You too, Bo? That girl is not my kid."

"Of course she's your kid, she's got your eyes and everything."

"THAT DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING! I don't know what kind of game you're playing Korra but I'm sick of it."

"I'm not fucking around with you Mako! We had sex back in high school, and now we have a kid. Deal with it."

"We never went to high school together! What are you even talking about?"

"It's an AU thing, you wouldn't understand."

Mako grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged at it. "You know what? I just can't deal with this right now. C'mon Bo, we're leaving."

"OH HELLLLL NO! YOU ARE NOT WALKING AWAY FROM ME!" Korra grabbed Mako's scarf and started to strangle him with it. Mako grabbed her arms and started to wrestle with her, pulling her down to the ground with his body weight. When they started to roll around on the sidewalk, Asami jumped in to try and break them apart. Korra was choking Mako and trying to break out of Asami's headlock when they were suddenly interrupted by a fireball soaring over their heads.

"STOP FIGHTING!" The three teens stopped fighting to stare at Korra Jr. in astonishment. Mako was the first to break the silence.

"Bo...did she just..."

"Yeah...I think she's a firebender."

"Oh. My. GOD! MY BABY'S A BENDER!" Korra shook Asami off and scooped Korra Jr. up into her arms. "AND A  ** _FIREBENDER_**  AT THAT! Gee... I wonder where she got that from?" Korra flashed Mako a pointed look.

"...That doesn't prove anything Korra."

"Oh, we'll see. I'm going to make you eat those words."

* * *

"The improvements to the tank design are satisfactory Hiroshi, go forward with production." Amon hung up the telephone and leaned back in his chair. Despite the constant raid on his training camps, Amon had to say that he was quite happy with the weapons production side of things. Amon was about to pour himself a drink when he was interrupted by a knock at the door. "Come in Lieutenant."

"Sir. Avatar Korra is on the radio right now."

"Is she giving another press conference?"

"No sir. She is a guest on a talk show." Amon could just ignore the Avatar for now, since it wasn't anything mission critical, but his curiosity got the best of him.

"What station?"

"98.3 Sir."

"That will be all, Lieutenant." Amon's second in command closed the door behind him as Amon turned the dial on his radio.

**_bzzzzt- "Stop living in denial Mako! She has your eyes and she's a firebender."_ **

**_"You're a firebender too Korra!"_ **

**_"I'm the Avatar, it doesn't work like that and you know it!"_ **

**_"I'm telling you Maury. I don't know what I did to Korra to make her treat me like this, but she has it out for me."_ **

**_"What do you mean, 'I don't know what I did'? You knocked me up, that's what you did."_ **

**_"OOOOHHHH!"_ **

**_" Stop acting like a bum and take care of your child!"_ **

**_"Why the BLEEP are all of you treating her like a saint? She is a violent alcoholic who killed some poor girl!"_ **

**_"Mary Sues don't count holmes!"_ **

**_"Yeah what that guy said. Plus I'll have you know that I stopped drinking!"_ **

Well a drinking problem was something Amon and Korra had in common. Amon turned the volume up on the radio.

_**"You BLEEPing liar! You were drinking rum n' coke in front of your-"** _

_**"Our."** _

_**"-Daughter today."** _

_**"Avatar Korra, we're you drinking in front of your daughter today?"** _

_**"Yep."** _

Amon smirked a little when the audience started to boo the Avatar.

**_"Hey BLEEP you guys! If you had 16 year old girls handing you porn of yourself, a sparkly bush hobo and a hog-monkey having a threesome as often as I do, you would start drinking too! Besides, I can't just quit cold turkey, the hangover might end up killing me. You have to slowly taper off of that BLEEP."_ **

**_"Korra you are a terrible person. Why are you even doing this to me? It's because I'm with Asami, isn't it?! You're jealous of her so you're using Korra Jr. to get between us."_ **

**_"Mako please...Everyone here knows the only thing I need to get between you and Asami is a bottle of 151 and a plate of nachos."_ ** **_  
_ **

**_"OH SNAP!"_ **

**_"BUUUUURRRNNNNN!"_ **

**_"BLEEP YOU KORRA!"_ **

**_"You already did Mako. Did you forget the reason why we're here in the first place?"_ **

**_"Speaking of the reason why we're here, THE RESULTS ARE IN!"_ **

Amon leaned forward on the edge of his seat. He didn't want to miss this. The Avatar's life was like a damn Soap Opera.

**_"Mako, in the case of five year old Korra Jr...you ARE the father!"_ **

_**"OOOOOOHHHH!"** _

_**"IN YOUR FACE BITCH!"** _

_**"Korra I'm-"** _

_**"IN YOUR FACE!"** _

_**"Korra just let me ta-"** _

_**"IN. YOUR. BLEEPing. FACE MAKO!"** _

_**"Kor-"** _

_**"Who's the Daddy?! YOU ARE MUTHABLEEPA! LITERALLY!"** _

_**"KORRA STOP DOING THE RUNNING MAN AND LET ME TALK FOR A BLEEPING SECOND!"** _

_**"Hold up, let me do the worm real quick. From now on, this will be known as the 'BLEEP you Mako' dance."** _

_**"WOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOP WOOP!"** _

_**"KORRA!"** _

_**"Alright fine. You going to help me raise our child now?"** _

_**"YES! Just, please. Stop dancing. And just because we have a child together, doesn't mean I'm going to leave Asami."** _

_**"That's fine with me. Is it fine with you, Asami?"** _

_**"Seriously guys... why did you assBLEEPs bring me here? Both of you are BLEEPing retarded."** _

Amon turned off the radio and tried his hardest to hold in his laughter. "Maybe I'll delay my plans to destroy the Avatar." Even though Amon enjoyed the idea of ruining the Avatar's life, he found that it was a lot more entertaining to watch her do it herself.

* * *

" _HEEEY_  Makoooo." Korra grinned. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Mako scowled at her. It was just like her to show up at his place right when he was leaving.

"Korra you know damn well that I'm meeting Asami for lunch."

"Well, looks like you have to change your plans. Korra Jr. wants to go to the zoo." Korra nudged their daughter forward and watched her climb up Mako's body.

"It's your day to watch her Korra."

"Yeah I know. But my new job called and I have to fill in for a co-worker."

"Since when did you get a new job? Where are you working now?"

"It's not important, now take her." Korra dodged the question. It was already bad that Tenzin cut her off, but there is no way in hell she was going to let Mako know that she was working at Republic Fried Chicken. "Oh by the way, I bought her a large root beer float on the way here so she is  **really** hyper and will probably have to pee soon."

"No. I'm not doing this Korra. You know I had plans today." To Mako's surprise, Korra didn't fight him.

"Alright, leave then." Korra pried their daughter off of Mako's back and stepped aside so he could go down the stairs.

Korra Jr. tugged on Korra's animal pelt. "Daddy's leaving..."

"I know sweetie."

Mako made it halfway down the stairs before he heard it. "Mommy, why doesn't daddy like me?" Mako's pace slowed to a crawl as the guilt started to set in.

"Daddy loves you sweetie, he just wants to spend some time with his girlfriend."

"Does Daddy love his girlfriend more than me?" Mako's heart lurched as he stopped on the bottom step.

"Of course not. Maybe he will take you to the zoo tomorrow." It was impossible for him to leave now. Mako walked back upstairs and lifted Korra Jr. into his arms.

"I guess I can change my plans and take you to the zoo with Asami. How does that sound?" Korra Jr. beamed at him.

"I told you he would come back if we followed the plan Kiddo." He gave his daughter a light squeeze and glared at Korra over her shoulder.

"That was a dirty trick Korra."

"Please... when I was her age I talked my dad into letting me keep a polarbear-dog. Being daddy's little girl is an art form that can take years to perfect Mako. Now what kind of mother would I be if I didn't pass on some of my secrets?" Korra kissed her daughter's forehead. "I won't be back from work until five so just bring her back to the island around that time."

"Whatever Korra."

"Oh yeah, one more thing. I'm gonna need about 40 bucks from you. Korra Jr. needs some new clothes."

"Are you being serious right now?"

"As serious as court-ordered child support."

Without another word, Mako pulled out his wallet and shoved some bills into Korra's hand. She counted the money quickly before she put the money in her pocket and descended the stairs. Korra shouted over her shoulder. "You two have fun now."

* * *

"Chief Beifong, where are we headed now?"

"We got a domestic disturbance call fifteen minutes ago. Normally I would let one of my deputies handle this, but due to the...location, I decided to handle this myself." Lin was starting to regret the deal she made with Republic City Radio. Why the hell anyone would want to listen to a reality radio program about police officers patrolling the streets was beyond her. But if the radio station was willing to donate extra funds to the RCPD then she won't complain about a few annoying reporters.

Lin crossed her arms and stared at the small island through the airship window. "We're heading to Air Temple Island."

Lin scowled as she felt a headache coming on. She just knew Korra was involved in all of this.

* * *

"KORRA! LET MAKO GO THIS INSTANT!"

"LET HIM UP! I DON'T THINK HE CAN BREATHE!"

"WAAAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAA!"

This was the scene Lin walked into after she descended the airship. At the moment, Tenzin had Korra pinned to the ground with a knee in her back to keep her from moving. The Earthbending boy was on the floor, crying his eyes out while the Sato girl was trying to dig her neck deep boyfriend out of the ground.

"BOLIN! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP CRYING AND BEND HIM OUT!"

"WAAAAAHHH!"

**"Ca _n't..._**   ** _Br_ _eathe..."_**

"ASAMI IF YOU DIG HIM UP I SWEAR I WILL KICK YOU IN YOUR FUCKING OVARIES!"

Lin placed her index and middle finger to her temple when her headache turned into a full blown migraine. Without a word, Lin stomped the ground and freed the firebender from his prison. Asami rubbed Mako's back as he gulped in mouthfuls of air.

"Well I was summoned out here on a domestic disturbance call but it looks like you have a handle on things here Tenzin, so I guess I'm not needed."

Tenzin removed his knee from Korra's back and stood up to straighten his clothes. "Not funny, Lin." He pointed to Korra. "Please...just do something." As soon as Korra stood up she was immediately wrapped up in Lin's metal bending cables.

"Damn Chief. I always imagined you would be a super-freak behind closed doors, but I never thought you would be into having an audience."

"Korra, Shut up. And you," Lin pointed to the reporter. "Edit out the Avatar's last comment. Now will someone please tell me what the hell is going on here?" Lin barked.

"MAKO FUCKED UP! THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED!"

"Christ Korra! It was an accident!"

"YOU HAD ONE JOB, MAKO! ONE JOB!" Korra stomped her foot so hard that the ground trembled. "AND THAT WAS TO KEEP MY LITTLE GIRL OFF OF THE STRIPPER POLE BY BEING A POSITIVE MALE INFLUENCE IN HER LIFE! AFTER WHAT YOU DID TODAY, YOU MIGHT AS WELL INTRODUCE MY DAUGHTER TO CHAMPAGNE THE STRIPPER SO SHE CAN TEACH MY LITTLE GIRL HOW TO WORK THE GODDAMN POLE!"

"KORRA STOP OVERREACTING! I SAID IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"

**"ENOUGH!"** Lin roared, startling the two teens into silence. When she was sure she had everyone's attention, she continued. "Someone better tell me what's going on in the next five seconds or I will lock up every single person here for wasting my time."

Mako raked his fingers through his hair to calm himself before he spoke up. "Well Asami and I took my daughter to the zoo today. Everything was going fine for the first couple of hours until-"

"You fucked up."

"Shut up Korra. I swear I only took my eyes off of her for two minutes."

"Because you were sucking face with Asami."

"Korra don't make me gag you. What happened next?" Lin asked.

"Well Korra Jr. kind of...opened-the-gate-to-the-armadillo-lion-habitat-and-released-all-the-animals!" Mako choked out.

Well that answered the question of what her deputies were gossiping about when she left the station. She probably had a report of the incident sitting on her desk right now.

"And now my baby is crying in her room because she is banned from the zoo!" Lin had to admit, if she was in Korra's position she would try to suffocate the man too. To be honest, Lin kind of admired how protective Korra was when it came to her daughter. She was acting like a Saber-tooth moose-lion.

An alcoholic, slightly retarded moose-lion, but a moose-lion nonetheless.

"So I'm going to assume that the Avatar attacked you when you came to drop your daughter off. Am I correct?"

"Yes."

"In that case, you have two options Mako. One: I release Korra and the two of you can work out whatever problems you may be having. Or two: You press charges and I take Korra down to the station."

Mako gripped his chin and thought for a second. "...I don't know."

"Wait...Mako, before you make your decision can I just say something first?"

He was a little skeptical, but he let her continue. "Yeah, go ahead."

"I can launch a fist sized rock at a rate of ninety-five miles-per-hour."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Imagine that same rock shattering your testicles."

"KORRA!" She flashed Tenzin an innocent look.

"What?"

Before Mako could give Lin an answer he felt a little hand tug at his pants leg. He panicked a little when he saw his daughter looking up at him. Mako had no idea how she managed to sneak up on the group, he just hoped that his little girl didn't hear too much. "Daddy are you and Mommy fighting again?" He let out a sigh and patted his daughter on the head.

"No sweetie, we're just talking."

"Then why is the police lady taking Mommy to jail. Did she rob a bank?"

Korra spoke up. "No the  _nice_ police lady is just showing Mommy her metal cables. Right, Lin?"

Lin looked at Mako, wordlessly asking the firebender if he wanted to press charges. When Mako shook his head, Lin released Korra and retracted the cables into her suit. "That's right kid, I was just showing your Mom how my cables work." Lin turned to address the reporter. "Let's get back to the ship, it looks like we're done her-"

" **KATARA! MY BABY!"**

"Mommy!" Korra Jr. shrugged off Mako's hand and ran toward a man and a woman standing twenty feet away. The woman bent down to pick up Korra Jr. and swung her around in her arms.

"Um...Mako? Is it just me, or do those people look a lot like...?"

"Us, but older?"

"Yeeeeah...This is some real Twilight Zone shit right here..."

Korra Jr. dragged the two adults over. "Mommy, Daddy, I want you to meet my other Mommy and Daddy." Korra stared at her older self.

"So...you're Korra Jr.'s real Mom, but you're also me?" The woman gave her a strange look.

"I don't know why you're calling her Korra Jr., her name's Katara. Korra is the name of our first daughter." Korra balked at the statement.

"First daughter?! How many kids do you have?!" The man wrapped an arm around his wife's shoulders and smiled at Korra.

"We have eight kids, Katara's the youngest!"

"Wow...married with eight kids." Korra turned to Asami. "You might as well call it quits Asami. Because, damn, Game Over... like seriously."

"Will you stop picking on my girlfriend?"

"Well judging by the fact that future Korra and Mako are standing here right now telling us that we have eight kids, she won't be your girlfriend for much longer. It's like the fanfic writers  _want_ Asami to be a tragic character or something."

Mako turned to his older counterpart. "Seriously, what the hell do you see in that girl?" The older man shrugged his shoulders.

"I dunno, there's just something about her. You might not realize it now, but you will eventually."

Katara let go of her mother's hand and walked over to Korra. "I'm going to go live with my real parents now." Korra bent down and hugged her.

"Are you sure? You don't want to stay here with me and Mako?"

"Yeah. I want to live with the Mommy and Daddy who remembers my name."

"Hey! If you told me your name was Katara I would've remembered. You didn't even say anything when I was calling you Korra Jr." Katara just stared at Korra. This woman can't be serious.

Mako bent down next to the pair and put an arm around both of them. "Well Katara, I know you have to go back to your real parents, but I love you I'm going to miss you."

"Me too Kiddo." Katara stepped out of their embrace and ran to her real parents.

"You ready to go squirt?"

"Yes Daddy." Mako and Korra waved as the group watched the newly reunited family head toward the docks. When the trio disappeared from sight, they lowered their hands and stared at each other as the weirdness of the entire situation started to set in.

"Korra...what just happened?"

"A Deus Ex Machina, Mako. A Deus Ex Machina..."

"So just like that, we aren't teen parents anymore?"

"Yep...just like that." Mako raised an eyebrow.

"So...are we okay with that?"

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth Mako." She stretched her arms above her head "I'm hungry. You hungry?" To Mako's surprise, he actually was. He nodded to Korra and followed her into the house.

Lin, Tenzin, Bolin, Asami and the reporter stood in place, still trying to make sense of what just happened. The reporter slowly pressed stop on the recorder and whispered

"Best episode of Cops. Ever."

The rest of the group nodded in agreement.

 


	10. Fifty Shades of Kink Memes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra meets someone new and falls for him completely. Will Mako reveal his true feelings to Korra? How will Korra react? Read to find out! Don't read the character pairing, that's cheating.

"Lame..." Korra gave up on the story halfway through and flipped forward to the next one in the magazine. She took another swig of her wine and started to skim the page. "Alright let's skip the fluff and move on to the porn bits." Normally Korra would at least try to read the whole thing but she was feeling impatient at the moment. Korra isn't even sure why she bothers to read the stories about her anymore. In the beginning it was out of a sense of duty to avoid the crap Katara had to deal with in the past, but after a while she started to enjoy the numerous cliches and bad writing. In a way it was like watching a bad play or singing along to a terrible song. But now..

"blah, blah, blah I moaned as he licked my collarbone... Yadda yadda yadda he sucked one boob while massaging the other... Now comes the part where he kisses his way down my body. Oooh- and what's this? He's gonna slowly kiss the inside of my thighs before he finally dives right in? Really?! Who has the time for that?"

...Now Korra had gotten to the point where she could predict what's going to happen next with unbelievable accuracy. "Alright on to the next one." Korra skipped a few paragraphs ahead in the next story. "Before Korra could finish her sentence, Mako surged forward and interrupted her with a kiss...the Avatar was too shocked to respond for a heartbeat, but she eventually opened her mouth to grant the fire bender access..." She visibly cringed. "Mako probed Korra's warm cavern and she moaned as their tongues battled for... Dom-" she let out a sigh.

"...For Dominance..."

Without another word, Korra shut the magazine, tossed it across the room into her wastebasket, and with a snap of her fingers the magazine was on fire. "Like I would even have to battle anyone for dominance, don't these fans know who the fuck I am?" She continued to watch the magazine burn before she was interrupted by a knock at her door. Korra tossed a 'come in' over her shoulder before returning her attention to the burning magazine.

"Hey Korra," It was Asami. "Me and the boys are going to hang out today and... Why is your trash can on fire?"

"Don't mind me, I'm just destroying something terrible to protect the innocent. So what are we- OH GOD ASAMI NO!"

It was too late.

Asami was reading her magazine.

Well...

...

...Shit.

"What the heck is a Makorra?"

She flipped to the middle and turned the book sideways to examine the centerfold. "Never mind, I figured it out."

"I swear it's not what it looks like!"

"Oh, so you're 'not' reading erotic fanfictions starring yourself and my boyfriend?"

"Okay when you put it that way it does sound kind of bad but-"

"Do you have any more?"

"Wait, what?"

"Got any stories with me in them?"

"Umm, y-yeah." The whole situation was pretty bizarre for the Avatar so Korra grabbed more issues out of her closet and prayed that fulfilling her friends request would make Asami forget that she was supposed to be mad at her. She sorted through what she could find on Asami and read off the titles. "Okay. We got Masami, which is you and Mako. The Bosami ones have Bolin in them. This one has Irosami, wouldn't get into that one since we haven't met him yet. And then we have the, um, the Korrasami stories that-"

"Those are the stories with you and I in them right?"

"Riiiiight..."

Asami smiled at her.

"You can't be serious."

She nodded. Korra groaned and tossed the Korrasami magazines on the bed. "Fine, take them. Just promise... Promise not to tell anyone about the fanfiction. I'll never be able to live this down."

Asami tucked the magazines under her arm. "Your secret's safe with me. I gotta go."

"Wait! Weren't we going to go hang out with the boys?"

"Sorry something came up. I have to go take care of...things." Without another word Asami left the room.

"Fine, I guess we'll hang out tomorrow then." Korra said to no one. She will probably regret giving Asami those magazines later. "Whatever. What else do we have here. Huh, what's this?" She lifted one of the magazines out of the pile. Unlike all the other books with terrible artwork in the covers, the cover on this one was completely black. She squinted to read the tiny words written in red.

Kink Meme.

"Well this is interesting..." She flipped to the table of contents. "Why are all of the authors anonymous? Filled requests, what the hell is that?" She shrugged her shoulders and flipped to the first story...

Holy Shit.

Korra read the story in complete silence before she closed the book and set it in her lap. After a minute of staring at the wall opposite her, she picked the book up and read the story again.

"This story..." She rubbed her chin in thought. "Has fulfilled every single sexual fantasy I have ever had, or will have in the future." She whispered in awe.

Korra couldn't decide if she wanted to thank the kink meme for writing interesting porn for once, or damn them for corrupting her somewhat innocent mind.

These stories didn't contain any of that tame shit you would see on nighttime television, like what Korra watched when she was in high school.

Some of the stuff you see in here wouldn't even be appropriate for HBO.

Korra firmly believed that the story she just experienced was the Magnum Opus of literary porn.

Seriously though, how do they do that? It's like being anonymous gives you the freedom to write whatever your little heart desires. Korra rubbed her hands together. "Can't wait to see what's in the next one." She read the list of kinks.

Watersports.

Pass.

Non-Con.

Hell No.

Torture.

Oohhh no. No no no. Nope. Nuh uh.

Just...no.

"Korra, I gotta say we learned something new today. The kink meme will either give you the best porn ever or it will give you mental trauma. But  ** _Damn_** , that first story though..." She closed the book and traced her fingers over the lettering.

Was it weird that she actually wanted to try some of these things with someone?

It probably is weird.

Korra doesn't care.

But how was she going to find someone hot and well-endowed enough to act out her favorite scenes?

"Let's see... What's the quickest way to meet an attractive guy you have instant chemistry with?" She tried to recall the various fanfic tropes she had come across so far. She snapped her fingers in triumph when she finally figured it out.

"Coffee shop AU. Duh!"

* * *

She wrapped her scarf around her neck a little tighter as she stepped into the coffee shop. Even though it was ninety degrees earlier today Korra was glad she dressed warmly. The moment she left Tenzin's it started snowing like crazy outside. Besides everyone knows that it needs to be cold in a coffee shop AU.

Korra gripped the strap of her messenger bag as she took a look around the shop. Why did she have a bag full of textbooks and a laptop when she isn't even in school and laptops haven't been invented yet?

Because you need one in a coffee shop AU, that's why.

"Alright Korra. You're wearing your best winter outfit and have been to this place a dozen times. Time to find the new employee and go in for the kill." She spotted him working the register up front. Wait a minute...

Why does he look like Mako?

Why does he have a beard?

And why does it make him look ten times hotter?

Damn.

She approached the counter when it was her turn to order. Korra paused to read his name tag.

Marco.

Ehh... a little too close to Mako but his amazing facial hair made her not care. Now on to the first step.

Extended eye contact.

She cheered internally as he finally broke eye contact and tried to suppress a tiny smile by clearing his throat.

Score one for the Avatar.

"Good afternoon, Miss-"

"Korra. My name's Korra." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He blushed at the gesture.

Two points.

"Right, um, Korra. What can I do for you today?"

She smiled again. This was way too easy.

"A few things actually."

* * *

There is chocolate sauce on the  _ **ceiling**_.

That's the first thing Korra notices when she opens her eyes. Second thing she notices is that she is very naked and she's feeling sore in some very 'specific' places. She wrapped the sheet around herself and sat up to check out her surroundings.

Half-burned curtains.

Fuzzy handcuffs still attached to the bedposts.

Ping pong paddle on top of the pillow.

Dog leash hanging off the corner of the bed.

And Korra is pretty sure that the chocolate sauce smeared on the closet door is an ass print.

Yeah... last night was pretty interesting.

Korra may have complained in the past about bad fanfiction, but hooking up with a perfect sex machine is definitely a cliche she can get behind. A knock at the door caught her attention.

"Good, you're awake." Damn that voice is like sexy molasses.

Korra isn't sure how you would make molasses sexy, but if it is possible it would probably sound like Marco.

"I made pancakes so I hope you're hungry."

With the workout Korra had last night she was straight up ravenous. "Thanks. By the way," She pointed to his neck. "You're still wearing the dog collar."

"Ah, thanks." He handed her the tray of pancakes and unclipped the collar.

"You're welcome. Hey, don't you want some of this?"

"No thanks. I know you really want to eat the whole thing so I won't take any."

This man truly understands her.

"So I don't have to work today. Maybe we can do something together?"

She smiled around a mouthful of pancakes. "Marco, how would you like to meet my friends?"

* * *

Mako, Bolin and Asami watched Korra and her new boyfriend pull up on his motorcycle through the diner's window.

_That's_  who they were meeting?

"Asami are you seeing this shit right now?"

"I'm definitely seeing it."

"Wow Mako! He looks just like you! Except he's got a cool beard!"

Mako glared at the couple in the parking lot. God it's like they're trying to eat each others faces. Mako turned to his brother and asked him a question.

"Bolin, when me and Asami are together, we don't act like that do we?"

"Like that? Naah, Korra and that other guy are way more into it. Definitely a lot more, um, passion going on there."

Was he the only one bothered by this?

"Asami aren't you weirded out right now? He looks exactly like me."

"Just wait until book three girl," she whispered. "Be strong for Korrasami..."

"...What are you even talking about?"

"Hey guys!" Korra interrupted them. "This is my new pet." He hugged her from behind and kissed her temple.

"Hey I thought we agreed to only use that name in private, love."

"Sorry babe. Guys I want you to meet Marco."

...Is she being serious right now?

"Hey it's so nice to meet you!" Bolin jumped up to shake his hand. "So where did you guys meet?"

"Yesterday, at the coffee shop where I work."

"Well you guys certainly moved fast." Mako mumbled. Unfortunately Marco over heard him.

"Yeah it was pretty fast at first. But then we took things very slow, if you know what I mean." He hugged Korra a little tighter and she  _giggled_.

Korra  ** _giggled._**

Mako could tell he wouldn't like this guy. At all.

He glared at the couple while they whispered to each other.

"Hey Mako, do me a solid and order a burger for me. I gotta use the restroom."

"You know what? I also have to use the restroom. Get me the same thing?" Mako crossed his arms and nodded.

"Thanks, we'll be back in a minute."

* * *

Twenty minutes.

They have been in there for twenty minutes.

The three of them had already eaten and Korra's in there doing who knows what.

99.9% sure that thing Korra's doing is Marco.

"Wow it's been a while. You think Korra and Marco are okay?" Bolin asked.

Oh they are more than okay.

"Maybe we should check on them." Bolin started to stand but Mako stopped them.

"No Bolin, just... no."

"But what if something's wrong. Maybe they are trapped in there...or they're constipated... OR maybe they-"

"KORRA'S IN THERE FUCKING THAT GUY BOLIN!" He snapped. Mako slid down in his seat when he noticed a few eyes staring at him.

"Sorry we're late everyone, you haven't been waiting up for us have you?" Korra slid into the booth next to Bolin, followed by Marco.

"We would have come out sooner, but something came up."

Korra giggled. Again.

Mako doesn't know how much more of this he can take.

"Looks like our food got cold."

"You're right. We should take it back to your place and  _warm it up."_

Even Bolin didn't didn't miss the double meaning of that statement. Without another word both teens were out the restaurant and speeding away on Marco's motorcycle.

They didn't even take their food.

"I really don't like that guy."

"Why not? They seem perfect together."

"I think Mako's right on this one Bolin."

Finally! Someone agrees with him.

"I can't believe he gets to bang her."

"What?"

"I can't believe she gets to bang him."

Mako decided to let the offhand comment slide and fumed in his seat.

Korra and Marco were so perfect for each other that it was nauseating to watch them interact. Mako knew it was mean to think so, but he really wished that they would fight and break up already.

Seeing Korra act affectionate with anyone was just weird.

* * *

"Korra can we talk?" He leaned against the kitchen sink and watched her dig through the fridge.

"Hey Mako, what brings you here?"

"You invited me here. But I guess you forgot."

"I did, didn't I?" She pulled out a bowl of cherries and some whipped cream and set them on the counter. "Sorry about that. Marco came over to surprise me for our 11 day anniversary, so I kind of forgot we made plans."

"11 day anniversary?"

"Yep, we celebrate our anniversary everyday." Korra pulled a zucchini and inspected it. After a couple of seconds she shook her head and put it back. "He's just perfect like that. Could have sworn we had chocolate syrup in here somewhere..."

"Actually Marco's the reason I wanted to talk to you. Doesn't he seem a bit off to you? It's like he only exists to please you and nothing else."

"Yeah I know."

"And you don't find that weird? At all?"

"Of course it's weird. Marco isn't real Mako. He's a physical manifestation of the perfect man in the eyes of females who love to read cheesy romance novels. I know there is no way such a perfect man exists, but that won't stop me from enjoying it while it lasts."

"...What?"

"In short, Marco is the ultimate Gary Stu of Romance. Shit, even when we are banging everything is narrated in first person so the reader can literally put themselves in my place. it's kind of disorienting to be honest." She finally found the chocolate sauce and set it on the counter. "But despite all of that, I'm still going to enjoy this because it feels freaking amazing Mako. That man... That man has a gift" She sighed.

"Korra, I promised myself I wouldn't pry and let this whole thing run it's course, but I really think you should break up with him. It's better to end this now before something crazy happens. Nothing good can come from dating someone who's that obsessive."

"HA! I'm sorry, I just find it hilarious that I got no reaction from you when I slept with Asami but this freaks you out for some reason."

"Shut up this is different. I think he might be dangerous."

"Of course he is. He told me yesterday if you try to take me away from him he's gonna gut you. Well he was actually a lot more specific about what he was going to do to you... but the long and short of it is that he will cut you."

"AND YOU'RE JUST NOW TELLING ME THIS?" He pulled his hair in frustration.

"Psssh calm down Mako. I told him that I had no interest in dating you right now, even though we will eventually get married and have like 8 kids, I'm in no rush at the moment."

"What the Hell?!"

"Hmm...I probably shouldn't have told him that last part huh?"

"YOU THINK?!"

Korra shrugged. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure nothing will come of it." She carefully balanced the food in her arms. "Sorry I forgot about inviting you over. Give me 35 minutes. You know what, let's make that 45 minutes, just to be on the safe side. Then we can hang out or something. Oh!" Korra grabbed her ping pong paddle off of the counter and tucked it under her arm. "Almost forgot my paddle."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "How about I just come back tomorrow?"

"Fine by me. Now if you'll excuse me, my pet needs some aftercare."

He's pretty sure Korra isn't talking about Naga.

* * *

Don't worry, she said.

Nothing will come of it, she said.

Freaking Korra.

Thanks to her big mouth Mako's tied to a chair. In the dark. In the middle of an abandoned warehouse.

And... Marco's sitting across from him.

Holding a machete.

He really should have seen this coming.

He just wished that Korra had warned him about the part with the machete. He knew Marco threatened to cut him.

But not with a fucking machete.

That's just fucking  **mean**.

Marco stared at him with a frightening intensity for a few minutes before he finally spoke.

"Good, you're awake."


End file.
